搞笑短剧剧本英文

英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces! 另一个 白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本 旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on. 白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.) 皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here! 魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know? 皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all? 魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you. 皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly. AprilFool'sDay N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies! F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family. Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye! N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man. U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please? F: Ok, here. U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck! N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly. D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great! （上前抓木棒,却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地） D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒） D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous! D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me? D1: What a pity! N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist. S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible! N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed. King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife. F: Let me try , Perhaps I can. N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed. k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday? F: April 1.转自： K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?! N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool". 《臭脚的故事》英语话剧剧本 A Story about Love and Stinky Feet by Dr. Sofia Chen陈南妤 超级搞笑,哈哈哈 从前,一个巫婆有一双臭脚,人们都很讨厌.所以,她想找一个人换掉她的双脚. 有一天她来到"香国" .她发现,人人都有双香脚.一天王子午睡,巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚. 有一位公主,她总是失眠.虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法,她还不能睡觉.国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿. 最后,他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡,她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚,然后她将睡得很好. 最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起. 人物 Ada: Little girl Candy: Queen Evander: King Evelyn Joel: Prince Rita: Singer /Woman Yilina: Witch -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Summary Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet. There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter. And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together. SCENE I (One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book) Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet. Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away! （Flying to the Fragrance country） Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away) Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess. Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it! SCENE II (The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.) Prince: Oh~ there are many crows. Crow A: Please go away… Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here. Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~! (Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.) Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers. Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air. Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please. Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting. Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad. (Prince continues to walk.) Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back. (Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.) Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes. Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense. Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him. /span> Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power! Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter. King: Yes! This is a happy ending. Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.

英语搞笑话剧《孔雀东南飞》 共需演员9人。Wanders every five miles 焦仲卿Johnny(J for short)刘兰芝Lunch(L for short) 焦母Johnny's mother(JM for short)刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short) 太守之子Mayor’s son(MS for short)强盗Burglars(ABandC) (J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪) J:Every body says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my wife is Wu Song. (指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you! (内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom? My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell! (内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J) My God!Who can help me?(下) Act1 (序幕结束时,JM作窃听状) JM(拄拐棍上):I can! (对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you? L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’s up mum? JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”. L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’s up? JM:Since you married my son you have behaved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so lazy…… L:But…… JM:Never interrupt me! L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and…… JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Go and ask your son.I’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下) Act2 (LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上) L:Mum,I’m back! LM:You are back?Why?What happened? L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law. LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen to me.Look at yourself…… L:But,mum…… LM:Never interrupt me! L:Mum,I’m no tinterrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to. LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor’s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter Haven’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go and tell him.(下) L(惊愕):What?The mayor’s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下) Act3(J睡眼惺忪上) J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks? (走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty! (突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself. (他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself. JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’s Lunch?Hasn’t she got up yet? J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone! JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny, as on without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back! J(立正敬礼):Yes madam! Act4 (J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗) A:Hey you!Stop and listent to us! The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上) B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上) C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚) AB&C:Give us all your money! J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1 mao enough? (三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量) A:What bad luck!This guy is broken! B:If we cannot rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight! C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month.WE can go and rob the wedding! A&B:Good idea! J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible! AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple! J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven’t got divorced yet! (突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’ll go with you.You take the money and I take the bride. B:Have you got any experience? J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000) Act5 (转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台) (J和三强盗跃至台中) ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us! A:The road is built by me! B:And I planted one tree. C:If you want to go by this street--- J:Give us all your money! (L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头) L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后) (MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒) J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去） (J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS) (J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前) J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you? L(哭状):I hurt a lot! J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下) L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下) (音乐起 Can You Celebrate)

绝对是搞笑英语剧本:Narration: Carrie, Cici and Wing are co-worker of a company. This day they are talking in the office.Ca: Bingo! I finally finish this case. It is really tough! I have not slept well for almost a week.Wing: Me too .I always get so busy in this season. I have drunk three cups of coffee in order to keep awake.Ci: Our boss must be enjoying his holiday in Fiji very much. What do you think he will feel when he comes back to see our case?Ca:Of course he will feel surprised and give each of us a promotion.Wing: Come on, he is a devil, how could he do this to us? Anyway, we should award ourselves for these days hard work!Ca: You are right. Let’s pig out on junk food!Wing: I have stayed in China for a whole year and I miss my hometown. I miss German food!Ca: so do I .how much I love French food!Ci: I have not eaten German or French food before. Do you have any recommendation?Ca: If you visit France or go to a French restaurant, snails, cheese, and goose liver and red wine are the best choices.Wing: You also can’t miss the famous German sausage, ham and blue checseCi: They all sound yummy. But do you know what Chinese eat when they miss their families?Wing&Ca: NoCi: The answer is dumplings!Ca:Well ,I heard that before though I haven’t tasted .Wing: Can you make dumplings, CiCi? Would you make some for us? I have been longing for dumplings for a long time.Ci: Aha, it is as easy as a pie for me .what about coming to my house tonight? We can make dumplings together. I will teach you how to cook it.Ca: Great! That is fantastic. Then it will be the first time to make and eat dumplingsWing: Very good idea! We could busy some basic ingredient at the supper market after work.Ci: Sure.We need flour, yeast, pork, cabbages, vinegar, sauce and ginger.(The three colleagues had their shopping and now they are in CiCi’s house)CiCiours some pour on the table and said:”Carrie, can you fetch some water here?”Ca: sure, here you are .what s next?Ci:Ci:we have to mix the flour yeast and water together .be careful ,don’t add too much water.Ca: Okay, I’m kneeing the dough repentedly.it is becoming and softerWing: Yeah, I am cutting the pork into many small pieces, and then I will add several spoons of oil in it .shall I blend them?CiCi: Yes, make sure they blend well. A bit salt and a spoon of vinegar are needed, too.(an hour later)Ca: Yes, the dumplings are prepared .lets start!CiCi: Wait! I remember well that you all miss the food from your hometown.Look, what are these?Ca: Wow! Cheese! Where did you get it? And my favorite red wine.Wing: God. Those are sausage and ham, I can’t believe it!CiCi: Haha, it is a big surprise, isn’t it? Now ,we are got all three countries’ food ready.Ca: So it is a complete big meal.Wing: An unforgettable banquet in my life. Let’s cheers!Ca, Ci, Wing: Cheers!

《 荆珂刺秦王》旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上,掏出镜子梳头,做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么,人才!然后拍阿三肩膀,做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊,哪有不挨刀啊,一刀砍死你啊,两刀砍死你啊.”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么,需要么?）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero,we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now! 太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女,激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧?难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯,击掌）Yeah!

你可以去腾讯搜索一下破产姐妹那个片子，那个里边儿就挺搞笑的。最好搜那个英文的。