misskissfion
超级好笑的小学英语笑话
笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。我你挑选了超级好笑的小学英语笑话，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，
he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
他叫我让座给一位女士。”
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的'钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation.
"All who want to go to heaven, please rise."
Everyone got up except the snorer.
After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,
"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start ， the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——
"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,
but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，
让他不要再在布道时睡觉。
于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”
所有的人都站了起来——
当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。
在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。
看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。
这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，
但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
宇过天晴……
小学一年级英语小笑话（精选5篇）
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。下面我整理了小学一年级英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
saying a prayer for his christmas meal圣诞节晚宴上的餐前祷告
lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.
有个小男孩叫lee, 今年七岁，圣诞节晚餐开桌前，家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他，lee开始做他得祷告，首先，他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈，哥哥姐姐诶，奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后，他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。
he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"
他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡，馅儿饼，圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后lee停下来了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。lee沉默了很长时间，然后抬起头看着他妈妈说：“妈妈，如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜，他会知道我在撒谎吗?”
p.s:
国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜，不知道为什么，看《绝望主妇》里面lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜，请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验，看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。
'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.
一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”
'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.
小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗?”
'No.' replied the boy.
小男孩回答道：“不知道。”
'I'm the head teacher's daughter', replied the girl.
小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。”
'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.
小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问：“那你知道我是谁吗?”
'No,' she uttered.
小女孩说：“不知道。”
'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.
小男孩大大的`松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。”
A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward，he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.
有个旅行者在穿越南达科这州时，在一家肤血站献了血.献血后他坐在一张小床上休息。这时，他见到另一个人前来献血.那个人看起来好像是美国的本土人。这个旅行家于是就和他攀谈起来。“你是不是住在路那边的苏族印地安人保护区?”
The tourist struck up a conversation and asked,”Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"
“没错儿。”那人回答.
"Yes，"the man replied.
“你是百分之百血统的苏族印地安人吗?”
"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"
“噢，不能完全这么说?. "那人说:“我现在就缺少了一品脱的血.”
"Well，actually，no，"said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.
在我去见医生的前一天，我的情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.
我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。
What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."
我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”
