私人英语话剧表演

英语话剧剧本：搞笑英语话剧：三笑三国 （7个人表演）开场介绍： Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct the actor. The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonight.and his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei .don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director. 第一幕：人物，赵云 夏侯惇 曹操 蒋干旁白：就在刚才不久，一个黑大汉从曹操军中救出刘备之子刘阿斗，现在正向这里杀过来，他就是张飞！！！（赵云出场）Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dou.now,he is coming. His name is Zhangfei. 赵云：no！本人姓赵名云，乃常山子龙也！ no! my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~ （赵云从背后拿出一坨布，代表阿斗） 赵云：看！这就是主公的最后一点骨血！刘阿斗！我从火场之中把他救出，而我自己的脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭！（顾影自怜状）look! this is the last blood of the boss ! liu e dou . i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ...ai ~. （夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀出） 夏侯敦：小贼，莫跑，要不然我就大开杀戒了（冲到） Children， stop there or i will kill you （赵云左手抱阿斗，右手与之搏斗） 赵云：可恶！居然敢偷袭我！fuck,!! you bitch dare to attack me ?? （二人装腔作势打斗数招） 赵云：看我九阴白骨爪！！stop!! wait!!! one two three... nine dark white bone fingers!! 夏侯敦：唔！（倒地） oh my gad i'm over 赵云：此地不宜久留，还是快去寻主公！（下）yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~ （曹操、蒋干二人上） 曹操：没想到我们初次出兵便杀得敌人望风而逃！真可谓出师未捷身先死。长使英雄泪满襟！ I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack.It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Long the hero Tearful" 蒋干：丞相，您说这话，真不见得怎么吉利。 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said; （曹操险些被地上的夏侯敦绊倒） 曹操：咦？这是谁扔的西瓜皮？（转身，看见倒在地上的夏侯敦）Huh? Who threw the banana rind? 曹操：是夏侯爱卿。难道他又在搞什么行为艺术？？Do not Xiahou Dun?Is he engaged in what is called performance art? （蒋干上前将夏侯敦一顿拍打，二人站起） 曹操：夏侯爱卿为何要在地上装西瓜皮？？Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground? 夏侯敦：有一人脸如黑炭 手抱孩子there is a very black people witha baby in his band 蒋干：是敌人的保姆！还带个孩子！！！it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm. 曹操：那你呢？What did you do? 夏侯敦：i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him i'mfightting fightting fightting我 我…… 我冲上去与之打斗 打 打 打 曹操：然后呢？What then? 蒋干：丞相，看来是夏侯将军杀退了敌人！ Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy 夏侯敦：唔唔！（手势如下：指指门外，右手作“九”的样子，随即作全身发冷状，然后指向自己的衣服，再指向曹操，作爪击状） 曹操：然后呢？ Then what happened? 夏侯敦：no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible （曹操、蒋干二人将夏侯敦拉起） 曹操：如此看来，敌人应该还没有走远。咱们乘胜追击！（慷慨状）It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's run after them. 蒋干：有时候我真的很佩服丞相您这乐观的心理……（赞同状） Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology ...... 夏侯敦：唔！唔唔唔~！（抡起两拳，作欲与敌人搏斗状）（三人下）第二幕:人物：刘备 张飞 诸葛亮 赵云（刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三人上）旁白：这是的刘备一行人正在军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp.、（诸葛亮走在前面，张飞、刘备二人紧跟其后） 诸葛亮：（转头）主公啊，按理说是您走先啦！（恭敬状）old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it?刘备：不啦，军师您身后有好大块荫凉，躲在这里避避暑也不错。No，it's very cool that I stand just behind you，I can avoid summer heat 诸葛亮：（眺望状）主公，如果我所料不错，现在马上就要下雨了！liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain! 刘备：先生神算！人所不及！不知先生如何知道将要下雨？great prediction！No one can compare with you！just wonder how do you know it's going to rain？ 诸葛亮：首先，天气预报说今天有雨；其次，（以手指前方）看天，那边有一块黑云来了！First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming! （赵云上） 张飞：哇！那就是子龙啊，想不到这一会不见子龙就换了个新桌面啊！Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute! （张飞迎上） 张飞：子龙！ long 赵云：翼德救我！ help!!! brother three. （张飞下） 赵云：主公！云殊死力战，方保得小主人在此！只是这许久不见啼哭，怕是已经……（悲愤状，取出布包，打开并捧着） boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss. but it have a long time to hear nothing. i am afraid... 赵云：kao！这小没良心的，居然还能睡的着！就跟他爹一样！！ oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father 刘备：咳咳！（赵云转身面向刘备） 诸葛亮：子龙，不是我说你，你嘴上就是少个把门儿的，总不能啥实话都往外说啊！？Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out!（刘备怒视诸葛亮，诸葛亮恍如不知，赵云上前，将阿斗递给刘备，刘备捧着阿斗） 刘备：为了你这倒楣孩子，几乎损我一员大将啊！我还留着你赶什么啊，我摔死你吧！！because of you，I almost lose a brave general！Why do I keep you alive，let me kill you！！（阿斗摔下）（赵云上前，对准阿斗狂踹数脚，诸葛亮上前拉住，赵云始终作势欲踢，诸葛亮用身体压住赵云后，走上前去一脚将阿斗踢飞） 旁白：从今以后，阿斗的智力便出现了明显的发育迟缓……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country. 赵云：咦？怎么不见关二哥呢？ yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu? 刘备：二弟昨天为军师摆下一个八卦阵去，不过在冲出去撞马的时候闪着腰了，现在还在休养呢！：He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed. 诸葛亮：哎，太糟糕了，看我，多健康，多健壮！告诉他，多喝三鹿奶粉！（自恋状）！Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder! 赵云：就给这孩子喝成这样儿了！！！（走上前，抚摸诸葛亮，做怜惜状） so you drink to be a foolish? 曹操（在台下）：啊~！！！（惨烈地）刘备：难道三弟又重操旧业了？咱们快去看看！Did zhangfei return to one's former career ？Go to see what happen?（三人下）第三幕： 人物 张飞 曹操 夏侯 蒋干 刘备 诸葛亮旁白：时间拨回到三分钟之前，张飞大战长坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set aside，zhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo （张飞上，在台上转一圈后，如京剧拿柱般亮相，定格） 曹操和蒋干：嘿嘿嘿嘿！（奸笑中） 夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑中） （三人奸笑上台）代写剧本 张飞：哇！火腿肠你回来拉！！ Wa!You, The hot dog, come back ! 夏侯敦：我靠，又一个黑人，黑人都是很牛x的，我怕了。。。 black man come again ， Blacks are very powerful，i'm afaid 曹操：阁下是何人，何以竟有如此美妙的声音！Excuse me. May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have! 张飞：我便是那燕（yān）人张翼德！（咬牙）I am Zhang Yide from jingdu! (clenches teeth) 曹操：阉人？？原来只是一个太监……夏侯敦，上去解决他！You are the so called coward,aren't you?xiahou,beat it! （夏侯敦低头猫腰冲出） 夏侯敦：唔！唔~唔！ （二人打在一起）（定格）蒋干：丞相，这一仗咱们必输，一会还有桥断水倒流呢！快叫夏侯将军下来吧。 Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly曹操：你怎么知道？How dou you know it? 蒋干：《真三国无双叁》，长坂的任务啊！！ "Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three"!! 曹操：干啊，我看你是太沉迷于网络游戏了。这样既浪费时间又上海身体，你还是听为丞相的一句话吧！珍爱生命，远离三俗啊！I think you are too addicted to online games. What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself. （张飞与夏侯敦二人继续，张飞一枪击中夏侯敦） 夏侯敦：oh my gad i am over again又被打败了 （蒋干上前将夏侯敦拖回） 曹操：唉，如今这世道变了，太监都这么厉害啦！？Why does that coward become so brave?张飞：曹贼听着！今日汝等必不能生过此桥！ cao ,stops talking! Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one! 曹操：汝休得猖狂！今日要不是我手下典韦身死，许诸拉稀，于禁肺炎，李典麻疹，文聘肝癌，张辽痔疮，才不会输给你！shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated! 张飞：你手下终究无人可用！啊，面对此景次请，我真想赋诗一首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a song.er, on ......On ......（音乐起）only you ~~~~~only……you…… （夏侯敦跃起） 夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（以手捂耳，跑下） 曹操：啊！（惨厉的叫声，并以手捂耳） 蒋干：啊！（惨厉的叫声，并以手捂耳） 曹操：这难道就是传说中的门得尔松的c大调《鬼叫》协奏曲！何以如此震撼！（惊惶状）Why is this so shocking!蒋干：（一手指张飞）快看！丞相！桥断了！水也开始倒流啦！！（转过身去，以手捂耳） Look, Prime minister! The bridge broke! The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩地裂之声） 曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血状）（定格） （诸葛亮、刘备、赵云三人上）诸葛亮：别唱啦！再唱下去就把曹操给唱死啦！Do not sing more,ok?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song!刘备：三弟快打住！！（以手捂耳）Stop,stop！！（以手捂耳） 张飞：only you ~~~~~only……you……（余音不绝） 刘备：子龙，快把三弟扛回去。Zilong，carry zhangfei back quickly。 赵云：好的！ ok （赵云上前，以手捂住张飞的嘴，扛走，张飞依旧唱个不停） （张飞、赵云二人下）旁白：从此以后有一首歌传唱至今 经久不衰，叫做：only you~~~~ since then, a song becomevery very famous.The name is《Only You》.(歌声再次响起，众人谢幕~~)。

英语搞笑小话剧（彼得与狼）Peter and the Wolfall : I’ll tell you a story. It is “Peter and the Wolf” Peter: Good morning everyone. What a fine day! How beautiful the green lawn is!Bird: Good morning, Peter.Peter: Good morning, Bird.Bird: It’s a fine morning, isn’t it! All is calm. All is beautiful.Duck: I’m a duck, you see. Peter forgot to lock the door. Now I’m free. How I want to have a good bath in the pool!(Duck jumps into the pool.)Bird: Hi! Who are you? You can’t fly?Duck: Aren’t you a bird! You can’t swim? You see. I can.Bird: You are a fool.Duck: I’m clever. You are a fool.Bird: You are a fool.Duck: I’m clever. You are a fool.(At this time, a black cat is coming quietly.)Cat: Yeh. They are quarrelling. So I have no trouble catching them. Look at me, please.Peter: Take care, Bird. Be careful, Bird.(So the bird flies away.)Duck: You are a thief. Why don’t you catch that bird?Bird: You are a robber. Why don’t you rob me?Cat: Should I go to catch the bird? Should I? I’m afraid when I get there, the bird will fly away.Grandfather: Peter, you see. It is very dangerous here. The duck is running into the pool. If a wolf comes, what should you do then?Peter: I’m a young pioneer. I’m very brave. How can I dare a wolf?(A few minutes later. A very big, cruel wolf comes siletly. The black cat runs away quickly.)Cat, Bird: Oh,! Wolf!Duck: Oh! My dear. The wolf is coming. Let me run quickly.(How can a bird run so fast! Look, the wolf has caught the bird, and eaten him up.)Wolf: How I am satisfied! But I still want to catch the bird andthe black cat.(Now Peter and the grandfather see what has happened. They have a good idea now.)Peter: Bird. Please fly over the wolf’s head. You can fly around and around him. But you should be careful enough.Bird: Wolf. Wolf. Can you catch me? You are a fool! Can you catch me? Catch me!(The wolf is so angry that he jumps up and down. At this moment. Peter and his grandfather throw a rope and catches the wolf.)Cat, Bird, Grandfather: Beat him. Beat him. Don’t let him run away.(At this moment. A group of hunters get to the forest. Listen, they are shooting at the wolf.)Peter: Oh, no. Bird and I have caught the wolf. Don’t kill him. Let him alive. Please help us to send him to the zoo.Peter, Grandfather,Hunters, Cat, Bird: Oh! Oh! Let’s go to the zoo. Let’s go to the zoo.

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提供两个六人表演的英语短话剧剧本一、白雪公主英语短话剧SW-白雪公主 Q-皇后 M-魔镜 H-猎人P-白马王子 D-小矮人 音乐起，旁白 A long time ago, In a beautiful kingdom, there lived a young king and queen, the people loved them so much; the queen died while giving birth to a girl, her name was Snow White, She was a beautiful princess. Year passed, the king got married again, The people didn’t love the new queen, because she was cruel. One day, In the king’s palace: ----白雪出场 S.w: My name is Snow white , I am a beautiful princess, I miss my mother so much, Where is my mother ? Where is my mother ? 音乐起，皇后、魔镜出场 Q: I am a queen , I’m very beautiful , Where is Mirror ? Mirror , Mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful ? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you ! Q: Hunter, go kill Snow white . 猎人出场 H: Yes, my queen音乐起，猎人追赶白雪，公主惊慌出逃 S.w: Help me ,help me, please, please ! 白雪顺利脱逃后 S.w: I am tried and hungry, oh, there is a little house , I will eat a little and lie down. 音乐起，7个小矮人出场， D: 1\Look, somebody ate my food---- 2\Somebody drank my water---- 3\Someone is sleeping now---- 4\What a beautiful girl!---- 小矮人睡觉----音乐起公主先醒了----小矮人醒了----对话 5\How do you do? S.w: How do you do? My name is Snow white … Nice to meet you! D:（齐说）Nice to meet you ,too---- 6\ welcome to our house!---- 7\Would you like to live here? S.W: My pleasure, thank you very much! D: Let’s go out for our work, bye-bye, Snow white. 皇后、魔镜出场 Q: Mirror, mirror on the wall , who’s the most beautiful? M: Snow white is much more beautiful than you! Q: What ? Snow white is not dead ? Hahaha, I got a good idea! 音乐起，皇后扮演老太太出场，对话 Q: Apple ,apple, beautiful apple, S.w: Hello, Good morning grandma! Q: pretty girl ,would you like a bite? S.w: Oh, yes ,thank you grandma! 白雪公主咬一口后倒地 Q: The girl is dead! Hahaha… 小矮人出场、围着公主哭 Snow white wake up, wake up… 音乐起，小矮人引着王子出场 P: A beautiful girl! She shall be my queen! 王子唤醒公主，公主醒了 P：Wake up ! Wake up , my queen ! S.w: Thank you for your help ! P: My pleasure ! 音乐起，小矮人、公主、王子跳起欢快的舞。二、Dont Touch Me! 6人话剧剧本 Vicky和Lisa是某餐馆的服务员，一天，一个顾客对Vicky....人物AllenJimKukiFenixVickyLisaCast1. Vicky︰a waitress at Monday’s restaurant. She is a hard working girl.2. Lisa︰another waitress at Monday’s restaurant. She is a kind and naive girl. 3. Fenix︰one of customers. He’s a very ill-natured customer.4. Allen and Tim︰customers at Monday’s restaurant. They’re good and decent men.5. Kuki︰the boss of the restaurant.Scene I(One afternoon, there are many customers at the Monday’s restaurant.)Vicky and Lisa talk and go to the kitchen, and then the boss, kuki, comes in, too.Kuki: Hey, there are many customers today. Girls, work hard. Remember, Godgives all things to industry.Lisa: Yeah. I know.Vicky: We will do our best.The door opens now. Two men come in.Kuki moves to the door.Kuki: May I help you, sir? Two people? Come with me, I will take you to thetable. Allen: Yes, pleases.Tim: I’m starving. I hope I can eat the best food in this restaurant right now.Kuki: (laughing) Just a moment. Two men walk in the restaurant. Lisa walks toward them.Vicky:This is the menu, sirs. Allen＆Tim: Thank you.After a few minutes. Lisa and Vicky walk to the kitchen.Lisa: Hey, Vicky. I don’t like that customer. See, that man sits near thedoor.Vicky: Why? Does he make any troubles for you?Lisa: I don’t know. I feel…….Oh, I just don’t like the way he looks at me.Scene IIVicky delivers a dish to the table where Allen and Tim sit.Vicky: (talks to herself) Lisa is right. The way that man looks at me makes meuncomfortable.Vicky delivers a dish again to Fenix’s table.Vicky: Here is your meal, sir. Enjoy it, please.Vicky turns to the kitchen. At this moment, Fenix touches her back!Vicky: Wow~~~~ (she screams.)Kuki: (runs to Vicky) what happened?Vicky: He, he……He touched me!Fenix: No!! I didn’t.Lisa: You lie!! I see you did that. What I say is an absolute truth. Other customers gather around them to

eing grateful for what we have until we lose it, of not being conscious of health until we