英语对话视频搞笑

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking. 老师正在讲课，彼得打起瞌睡来了。 Teacher: Peter！Tell us, what's the biggest in the world? 老师：彼得！你说说，世界上什么最大？ Peter: Well, well....eyelids.... 彼得: 嗯……嗯……眼皮…… Teacher: What？Eyelids？ 老师：什么？眼皮？ Peter: Yes, sir. Because as soon as I shut my eyes, the eyelids cover everything of the world. 彼得：是的，老师。因为我眼睛一闭，眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了。 。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。很简单

今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧 这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me !“ “上帝救救我吧!” “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

你选选吧经典对话一：男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。)经典对话二：男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）经典对话三：男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）经典对话四：男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）经典对话五：男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）经典对话六：男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）经典对话七： 男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）

The Mean Man's Party 吝啬鬼的聚会 The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"2:老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！3:hey,that lady, i like you ,will you be my girlfiend? -oh,sorry ,i think you have to make your face changed first, you are too handsome to be looked at. everybody was dancing while a blonde alone in an armchair. just then, she was happy to see a handsome young man coming towards her. "are you going to dancing ?"asked the man pleassntly. "yes,"she whispered. 4:how are you ?怎么是你？ how old are you ?怎么老是你？