九尾小妖
英语笑话及中文翻译
英语笑话及中文翻译一：
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
【注释】
1. fume - to be angry about something 发怒，生气
常用介词搭配：fume at/over/about
例如：fume about what he said 对他所说的话感到生气
2. tell somebody off 斥责，责骂
tell somebody off for doing something 因为某人做某事而责骂他/她
例如：The boss is always telling me off for being late, even though he is late every day! 我的老板总拿迟到的事斥责我，即便他自己天天迟到!
英语笑话及中文翻译二：
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
【注释】
1. cure of 是一个在各种英语阅读文章中经常出现的习语，它的意思有两大分支，一是医疗范畴上的对疾病的救治;二是生活习惯范畴上的对坏习惯的`矫正。
The medicine should cure you of your cold. 这药应该能治好你的感冒。
Parents try to cure their children of bad habits. 父母们想办法纠正孩子们的坏习惯。
2. 西方文化中的魔鬼形象：
在西方国家的文献、小说、影视作品中，魔鬼常被描述为一个有角有尾巴、手拿长柄叉、在烈火熊熊的地狱里折磨人的怪物。
Krystaldxe
笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。我精心收集了 英语笑话 带中文翻译，供大家欣赏学习! 英语笑话带中文翻译：The Great Lion Hunter 伟大的猎手 A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披盖) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝结)shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief. Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose? 有个小村庄正为一只吃人的狮子而烦恼。于是，村长派人去请伟大的猎手Jonesie来杀死这只野兽。 猎手躺着等了几个晚上，但狮子一直没有出现。最后，他要求村长杀只牛然后把头皮给他。把牛皮披在身上后，猎人到草原上去等狮子。 半夜，村民被从草原传来的声嘶力竭的尖叫声惊醒。他们小心地靠近后，看到猎手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。没有狮子出没的蛛丝马迹。 Jonesie，怎么了?狮子在哪?村长问。 哪有狮子!猎人怒吼道，哪个傻瓜把公牛放出来了? 英语笑话带中文翻译：As If Awakening From A Dream 如梦初醒 A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal(婚姻的) relation, even cause your wife to leave you… " A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy." 以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……” 这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!” 英语笑话带中文翻译：At Auction Fair 拍卖会上 At auction spot, someone has lost a bag, in which has the vital document. The owner says, "Once who picked it up brings it to me, I will take out 200 dollars to remunerate reward him or her." On hearing the news, another chap(小伙子，家伙) shouts out:" I reward 300 dollars." 拍卖会上，有人的包丢了，里面装有重要文件。物主说：“有谁拣到送还，我将拿出200美元以表酬谢。” 话刚出口，就听有人喊：“我出300美元。” 英语笑话带中文翻译：Calming your son 让你儿子静下来 In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫)baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert." A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(称赞，表扬) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert." The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert." 一个人在超市里推着购物车，一个小孩子在车里不停的大吵大叫。推车的男人一直温柔地念叨着：”别激动，阿尔伯特，别嚷出来，阿尔伯特，别叫，阿尔伯特，冷静，阿尔伯特。" 站在他旁边的一位女士对他说道：“您能这样安慰您的儿子阿尔伯特真的让我们感到很不容易。” 男人看着那位女士说：“太太，我是阿尔伯特。
