英语剧本7人10分钟

英语剧剧本：搞笑英语剧：三笑三 （漆表演） 场介绍： Ladies and gentlemen,let me introduct the actor. The first is zhaoyun,he is the most actor tonight.and his black brother zhangfei ,and there boss liubei .don't forgot the other side Mr cao,and his adviser JiangGan,and the most strong XiaHou Dun.At last,don't forget who behind the scenes ME----the Director. 第幕：物赵云 夏侯惇 曹操 蒋干 旁白：刚才久黑汉曹操军救刘备刘阿斗现向杀张飞（赵云场）Not too long ago,a black general saved the son of LiuBei ,Liu A dou.now,he is coming. His name is Zhangfei. 赵云：no本姓赵名云乃山龙 no! my family name is zhao my middle name is yun and my given name is zilong ~ （赵云背拿坨布代表阿斗） 赵云：看主公点骨血刘阿斗我火场救我自脸却早已……唉……化作焦炭（顾影自怜状）look! this is the last blood of the boss ! liu e dou . i took him out from the fire ,but my face hane already ...ai ~. （夏侯敦挺着枪呈猫腰状杀） 夏侯敦：贼莫跑要我杀戒（冲） Children stop there or i will kill you （赵云左手抱阿斗右手与搏斗） 赵云：恶居敢偷袭我fuck,!! you bitch dare to attack me ?? （二装腔作势打斗数招） 赵云：看我九阴白骨爪stop!! wait!!! one two three... nine dark white bone fingers!! 夏侯敦：唔（倒） oh my gad i'm over 赵云：宜久留快寻主公（）yeah~ bitch i will go to look for my boss , goodbye~ （曹操、蒋干二） 曹操：没想我初兵便杀敌望风逃真谓师未捷身先死使英雄泪满襟 I didn't expect that we can beat the enemy with our first attack. It reminds me of a poem, "Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Long the hero Tearful" 蒋干：丞相您说真见吉利 Prime minister,It does not sound good about what you have said; （曹操险些夏侯敦绊倒） 曹操：咦谁扔西瓜皮（转身看见倒夏侯敦）Huh? Who threw the banana rind? 曹操：夏侯卿难道搞行艺术Do not Xiahou Dun? Is he engaged in what is called performance art? （蒋干前夏侯敦顿拍打二站起） 曹操：夏侯卿何要装西瓜皮Why do you want to install banana rind on the ground? 夏侯敦：脸黑炭 手抱孩there is a very black people witha baby in his band 蒋干：敌保姆带孩it Is enemy's maid with a child in his arm. 曹操：呢What did you do? 夏侯敦：i i i…… i rushed to him and fight with him i'mfightting fightting fightting我 我…… 我冲与打斗 打 打 打 曹操：呢What then? 蒋干：丞相看夏侯军杀退敌 Prime minister, it is likely that general Xiahou has defeated the enemy 夏侯敦：唔唔（手势：指指门外右手作九随即作全身发冷状指向自衣服再指向曹操作爪击状） 曹操：呢 Then what happened? 夏侯敦：no no no I was defeated he used the nine cloud white bone finger ,it's so terrible （曹操、蒋干二夏侯敦拉起） 曹操：看敌应该没走远咱乘胜追击（慷慨状）It seems that the enemy should not go far. Let's run after them. 蒋干：候我真佩服丞相您乐观理……（赞同状） Sometimes I really admires prime minister very much about your optimistic psychology ...... 夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔~（抡起两拳作欲与敌搏斗状） （三） 第二幕:物：刘备 张飞 诸葛亮 赵云 （刘备、张飞、诸葛亮三） 旁白：刘备行军营外观看敌情~~~LiuBei and his team are looking something out of his military camp. 、 （诸葛亮走前面张飞、刘备二紧跟其） 诸葛亮：（转）主公啊按理说您走先啦（恭敬状）old liu ah,you should walk in front of us! Is not it? 刘备：啦军师您身块荫凉躲避避暑错Noit's very cool that I stand just behind youI can avoid summer heat 诸葛亮：（眺望状）主公我所料错现马要雨liu ah,come here! I tell you a secret! I think it is about to rain! 刘备：先神算所及知先何知道要雨great predictionNo one can compare with youjust wonder how do you know it's going to rain 诸葛亮：首先气预报说今雨；其（手指前）看边块黑云First,the weather report told us it is going to rain today;second,look at the sky,so many dark clouds are coming! （赵云） 张飞：哇龙啊想见龙换新桌面啊Ha! That is person who called long ah, I could not believe that you have changd a new tabletop without a minute! （张飞迎） 张飞：龙 long 赵云：翼德救我 help!!! brother three. （张飞） 赵云：主公云殊死力战保主许久见啼哭怕已经……（悲愤状取布包打并捧着） boss, i have trid my best to protect the little boss. but it have a long time to hear nothing. i am afraid... 赵云：kao没良居能睡着跟爹 oh ~ shit.how can the son of bitch get in asleep.just like his father 刘备：咳咳 （赵云转身面向刘备） 诸葛亮：龙我说嘴少门总能啥实都往外说啊Zilong,not I tell you, although it is true,you should not say it out! （刘备怒视诸葛亮诸葛亮恍知赵云前阿斗递给刘备刘备捧着阿斗） 刘备：倒楣孩几乎损我员啊我留着赶啊我摔死吧because of youI almost lose a brave generalWhy do I keep you alivelet me kill you（阿斗摔） （赵云前准阿斗狂踹数脚诸葛亮前拉住赵云始终作势欲踢诸葛亮用身体压住赵云走前脚阿斗踢飞） 旁白：今阿斗智力便现明显发育迟缓……This is why liu a dou is so foolish that lost his country. 赵云：咦见关二哥呢 yi ~~ where is brothe two GuanYu? 刘备：二弟昨军师摆八卦阵冲撞马候闪着腰现休养呢：He layout the BaGuaZhen for military adviser yesterday, but when he rushed out , he get his waist twisted, now he stay in bed. 诸葛亮：哎太糟糕看我健康健壮告诉喝三鹿奶粉（自恋状）Oh,It is so bad! Look at me,so healthy,so strong!tell him to drink more sanlu milk powder! 赵云：给孩喝（走前抚摸诸葛亮做怜惜状） so you drink to be a foolish? 曹操（台）：啊~（惨烈） 刘备：难道三弟重操旧业咱快看看Did zhangfei return to one's former career Go to see what happen? （三） 第三幕： 物 张飞 曹操 夏侯 蒋干 刘备 诸葛亮 旁白：间拨三钟前张飞战坂坡……Go back to three minutes before the time set asidezhangfei fight with caocao's army on changbanpo （张飞台转圈京剧拿柱般亮相定格） 曹操蒋干：嘿嘿嘿嘿（奸笑） 夏侯敦：唔唔唔唔……（奸笑） （三奸笑台）代写剧本 至美.jiaokedu中国 张飞：哇火腿肠拉 Wa!You, The hot dog, come back ! 夏侯敦：我靠黑黑都牛x我怕 black man come again Blacks are very powerfuli'm afaid 曹操：阁何何竟美妙声音Excuse me. May I know your name? What a wonderful voice you have! 张飞：我便燕（yān）张翼德（咬牙）I am Zhang Yide from jingdu! (clenches teeth) 曹操：阉原太监……夏侯敦解决 You are the so called coward,aren't you?xiahou,beat it! （夏侯敦低猫腰冲） 夏侯敦：唔唔~唔 （二打起）（定格） 蒋干：丞相仗咱必输桥断水倒流呢快叫夏侯军吧 Prime minister, we must have lose this Campaign , the bridge will also cut off the water soon!Let's call Xiahou general to get down quickly 曹操：知道How dou you know it? 蒋干：《真三双叁》坂任务啊 "Really,it is the game's duty of Three countries Unparalleled Three"!! 曹操：干啊我看太沉迷于中国络游戏既浪费间海身体听丞相句吧珍命远离三俗啊 I think you are too addicted to online games. What a waste of time, and It's harmful,listen to me ,You must take good care of yourself. （张飞与夏侯敦二继续张飞枪击夏侯敦） 夏侯敦：oh my gad i am over again打败 （蒋干前夏侯敦拖） 曹操：唉今世道变太监都厉害啦 Why does that coward become so brave? 张飞：曹贼听着今汝等必能桥 cao ,stops talking! Today you all can't pass this bridge with a live one! 曹操：汝休猖狂今要我手典韦身死许诸拉稀于禁肺炎李典麻疹文聘肝癌张辽痔疮才输给shut up!If general dianwei was still alive,We would not be defeated! 张飞：手终究用啊面景请我真想赋诗首——Nobody may go to battle for you ,Facing this scenery,i really want to sing a song.er, on ......On ......（音乐起）only you ~~~~~only……you…… （夏侯敦跃起） 夏侯敦：唔唔唔……（手捂耳跑） 曹操：啊（惨厉叫声并手捂耳） 蒋干：啊（惨厉叫声并手捂耳） 曹操：难道传说门尔松c调《鬼叫》协奏曲何震撼（惊惶状）Why is this so shocking! 蒋干：（手指张飞）快看丞相桥断水始倒流啦（转身手捂耳） Look, Prime minister! The bridge broke! The water also starts to flow backwards（音效：山崩裂声） 曹操：aaaaaaaaaa（痛苦吐血状）（定格） （诸葛亮、刘备、赵云三） 诸葛亮：别唱啦再唱曹操给唱死啦Do not sing more,ok?if you go on singing,CaoCao will die because of your song! 刘备：三弟快打住（手捂耳）Stop,stop（手捂耳） 张飞：only you ~~~~~only……you……（余音绝） 刘备：龙快三弟扛Zilongcarry zhangfei back quickly 赵云： ok （赵云前手捂住张飞嘴扛走张飞依旧唱停） （张飞、赵云二） 旁白：首歌传唱至今 经久衰叫做：only you~~~~ since then, a song becomevery very famous.The name is 《Only You》.(歌声再响起众谢幕~~