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经典儿童英语笑话简短
英语笑话可以让人缓解紧张情绪,增强免疫系统功能。下面由我为您整理的英语笑话大集合。
One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
The doctor lives downstairs医生住在楼下
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的`胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
魔鬼的妹夫
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
最丑的孩子?
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
治愈系小精灵
下面是我整理的笑话英语小 故事 ，希望对大家有帮助。
笑话英语小故事：We are friends(我们是朋友)
Tommy is turtle. He has no daddy, no mummy and no friends.
Tommy 是一只乌龟。他没有爸爸、妈妈和朋友。
He is crying. A bird comes. She says: “I can fly. Let’s fly!”
他在哭。一只小鸟过来了。她说：“我会飞，让我们一起飞吧。”
Tommy says: “ no,no, I can’t fly!”
Tommy 说：“不，不，我不会飞。”
A rabbit comes. He says: “ I can jump. Let’s jump!”
一只兔子过来了。他说：“我会跳。让我们一起跳吧。”
Tommy says: “no, no. I can’t jump!”
Tommy说：“不，不。我不会跳。”
A monkey comes. He says:“I can climb the tree. Let’s climb the tree!”
一只猴子过来了。他说：“我会爬树。让我们一起爬树吧。”
Tommy says: “ no, no. I can’t climb the tree!”
Tommy说：“不，不。我不会爬树。”
A duck comes. He says: “I can swim. Let’s swim!”
一只鸭子过来了。他说:“我会 游泳 ，让我们一起游泳吧!”
Tommy smiles: “ we are friends!”
鸭子笑了：“我们是朋友!”
笑话英语小故事：Little mouse(小老鼠)
It’s a sunny day. A little mouse wants to go out and play.
这是一个晴朗的一天。一只小老鼠想要去外面玩
But he is afraid of the cat . so he peeks and peeks.
但是它害怕猫。 所以左看看右看看
He peeks to the left and peeks to the right.
它看了左边又看右边
Suddenly, the mummy mouse shouts.
突然，老鼠妈妈叫道：
“watch out! Watch out! The cat is here , the cat is here.”
“小心!小心! 猫在这里，猫在这里”
笑话英语小故事：The hart in the ox-stall
A hart was being pursued by some dogs. It ran into an ox-stall, and hid itself in a truss of hay. Only the tips of its horns could be seen.
Soon after the hunters came to the stable, and asked if anyone had seen the hart. The stable boys looked around, but could see nothing. So the hunters went away.
Later the master came in. He looked around, and saw that something unusual was there.
He pointed to the truss of hay, and asked, "What are those two strange things?" When the stable boys went to look, they discovered the hart.
牛栏里的雄鹿
●一只雄鹿被猎狗追赶得很急，跑进牛栏里，躲在一大堆干草里面，只有鹿角尖露在外面。
●猎人们很快来到牛栏，询问是否有人看到这头鹿。牧童们四处张望，什么也没有看到，于是猎人们走了。
●不久，主人回来了，他四处检查时，觉得有些异常。
●他指着那堆干草问：“那两个怪模怪样的东西是什么?”牧童们上前来翻寻，发现了那只鹿。
寓意: 在逃避一种危险时，不要忽视另一种危险。
笑话英语小故事：The eagle and the arrow
An eagle was flying in the sky. As soon as it saw a rabbit, it swooped down on its prey.
Suddenly it was hit by an arrow.
It fluttered slowly down to the earth, and blood was pouring from the wound.
When the eagle looked down, he found that the shaft of the arrow was feathered with one of its own plumes.“Alas!”it cried.“We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.”
鹰和箭
●鹰在天空中飞翔，当他看见一只野兔时，就俯冲下来捕捉猎物。
●突然，有人一箭射中了它。
●鹰扇着翅膀降落在地面上。鲜血从伤口中喷涌而出。
●它低头看到箭尾竟是由一根它自己的羽毛制成的，就痛苦地说：“唉，我们总是给敌人提供毁灭我们自己的工具!”
寓意: 人们常常因自己的原因而受到伤害，那种痛苦更令人难受。
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