三万英尺001
英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ，欢迎阅读! 幽默的英语小故事篇一 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 幽默的英语小故事篇二 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 幽默的英语小故事篇三 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 看了“幽默的英语小故事 ”的人还看了： 1. 英语幽默小故事10篇 2. 幽默英语小故事16篇 3. 英语小故事3分钟幽默大全 4. 简单幽默英语小故事精选 5. 有趣搞笑的英语故事大全 6. 英语幽默小故事带翻译大全
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下面是我整理的15则经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默故事1.
A: Madam, do you have something in common with your husband?
B: Oh, we have only one point in common—we got married on the same day, in the same month and in the same year.
英语幽默故事2.
After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up. “ Get up, dear,” she said, “ It’s 20 to seven.”
He awoke with a start. “ In whose favor?”
英语幽默故事3.
The miserly millionaire called a family conference, “ I’m placing a box of money in the attic,” he said.” When I die, I intend to grab it on my way up to heaven. See to it that no one touches it until it’s my time too go.”
The family respected his wishes. After his death, the millionaire’s wife looked in the attic. The box was still there. “ THE FOOL!” she said. ”I told him he should have put it in the basement.”
英语幽默故事4.
On the way home from my university, I was going to drop off a friend at her home, when I realized I was lost. I asked her for directions. She said she was not sure of the route. Hoping to jog her memory, I asked, “ what route does your father take when drives you to school?” She didn’t know. I thought it might simplify things if I rephrased the question.” When you go home, which way does he go?”
“ Oh, that’s easy,” she replied. “ He goes back the same way he came.”
英语幽默故事5.
During my second year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my adviser, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”
My adviser shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.
英语幽默故事6.
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate.
The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said, “ You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?”
“ In the rat trap, sir,” replied the boy.
英语幽默故事7.
One professor solemnly addressed the class the day after a big assignment had been due. “ Many of you know me,” he intoned. “And many of you have met my dog, Gus. Obviously, one of you has not.”
“ I apologize to whoever slipped a term paper under my office door,” he continued. “ My dog ate your homework.”
英语幽默故事8.
Just before graduation from university, my son and several friends were discussing the role their families had played in their career plans. My son, who had been accepted by a college of optometry, had been quiet during most of the talk.
“ How about you, Dale?” one of his buddies asked. “ Was you pushy?
“ No, he replied. “ I had complete freedom of choice. I could be any kind of doctor I wanted to be.”
英语幽默故事9.
During my first year at Naval Postgraduate School, I sat chatting one day with some classmates about the program’s difficulties. A professor overheard us and tried to allay our fears. “Don’t worry too much about grades,” he explained. “ When you think you know everything, they give you a Bachelor’s degree. Then when you realize that you don’t know anything, they give you a Master’s, and when you find out that you don’t know anything, but neither does anyone else” he continued,” they give you a doctorate.”
英语幽默故事10.
Recently engaged, I asked my aunt, who has been married to Uncle Bob for 34 years, what she thought was the key to the success of their long union. She said, “ Try not to argue, and we respect each other’s privacy.”
At this point Uncle Bob interrupted. “ She works days and I work nights,” he said.
英语幽默故事11.
About two weeks before our fifth anniversary of marriage, my husband asked what I would like for a gift. I told him I wanted something impractical and romantic.
On our anniversary night, he presented me with a lovely gold bracelet. “ A little four-letter word made me get this for you,” he said softly.
“Oh, how sweet,” I whispered. “L-O-V-E?’
“No,’ he replied. “S-A-l-E.”
英语幽默故事12.
A: Oh, how nice your bookshelf is! But it’s a pity that it is empty without any books in it.
B: I had no bookshelf in the past. In order to buy the bookshelf, I have sold all my books. Don’t you know?
英语幽默故事13.
M: Do you love your bride?
Bridegroom: Yes, of course. I love her very much.
M: Are you willing to accompany with your husband forever?
Bride (with head shaking repeatedly): Of course not. He is a postman, how can I accompany with him all the whole day?
英语幽默故事14.
“Joe is the man for me,” said a starry-eyed young lady to her mother, “ He’s nice. He’s handsome. He’s smart. He’s hardworking. He’s strong. He’s kind…..”
“He’s married” interrupted her mother.
“ So nobody is perfect.”
英语幽默故事15.
A tobacco-company executive traveled the country looking for long-time smoker in good health. He found one man who admitted to smoking for 70 years. “ If you do a commercial for us,” the executive explained. “ We’ll pay you $10,000.”
“It’s a deal,” said the smoker. “When do I start?”
“How about 10 A.M. Tomorrow?”
“Can’t do it then, son—I never quit coughing till noon.”
