冰枫星雨
1.Is it a boy or a girlA: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.B: I'm not. I'm her mother.翻译：是男孩还是女孩？A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。2.Pretty uglyMary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?Peter: I think you're pretty ugly..翻译：非常丑陋的玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？彼得：我觉得你很丑。3.Silent fartA man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem."Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"The doctor replies:"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing."翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。“医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？”医生回答说：“我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。”3.Pay tax with a smileA: I hate paying my income tax.B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?A: I'd like to but they insist on money!翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！4.Take his placeAn attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor."So, what is it?" grumbled the governor."Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."翻译：代替他：取代他的位置午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。“那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。“Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。”州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。”5.I'm SickOne day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital.Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you.Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick.翻译：我生病了一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。护士：哈米德，医生来见你。哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。向姑姑道歉爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。”儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。”6.Say sorry to auntDad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her."Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid."6.Undying loveGirl: Do you love me?Boy: Yes, dear.Girl: Would you die for me?Boy: No, mine is undying love.翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱女孩：你爱我吗？男孩：是的，亲爱的。女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的扩展资料：look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年short hair短头发blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤do you你愿意吗fart<讳>放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行'vehave 的缩略形式At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通and even乃至
张祝君1
英语笑话（一） 老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。” 小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明就坐了下来。过了一会儿，小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet? 老师说：Go ahead. 小明又坐了下来。他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗？怎么不去？ 小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊！ 英语笑话（二） 某日刘洪涛遇到外宾，上前搭话曰：I am hongtao liu，外宾曰：我TM还是方片七呢！ 英语笑话（三） 江青会见外宾，要求翻译要严格按她的意思翻，不许走样。外宾一见到江青，立刻拍马屁道："Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful." 翻译照翻，江青心花怒 放，嘴上还要谦虚一下：“哪里，哪里”。 翻译不敢怠慢，把江青的话翻成英文："Where? Where?" 外宾一愣，还有这样的人，追问哪里漂亮的，干脆马屁拍到底："Everywhere, everywhere." 翻译：“你到处都很漂亮。”江青更高兴了，但总是要客气一下：“不见得，不见得”。翻译赶紧翻成英文："You are not allowed to see, you are not allowed to see." 英语笑话（四） 话说某年某月的某一天，叁个神箭手约在一起比箭，目标是十尺外仆人头上的苹果。A神箭手挽弓长射，咻一声，利箭正中苹果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大 拇指道：「I AM后羿！」 B神箭手照本宣科，射中苹果，这回他自大的喊了一句：「I AM丘比特！」 轮到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！ 结果正中仆人的心脏。就听他结结巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」 英语笑话（五） 某人刻苦学习英语，终有小成。一日上街不慎与一老外相撞， 忙说：I am sorry. 老外应道：I am sorry too. 某人听后又道：I am sorry three. 老外不解，问：What are you sorry for? 某人无奈，道：I am sorry five. 英语笑话（六） 一位来自日本的旅客，坐出租车去机场的路上，看到一辆汽车经过，就说：“oh，TOKOTA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”又有一辆经过，他又说： “oh，NISSAN！Made in Japan! It is very fast！”司机有点不高兴，觉得他太吵了！当第三辆经过时，他还是说：“oh，HONDA！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 后来到了机场，那个日本人就问：“How Much？”出租车司机说：“1000！” 日本人惊奇的问司机：“为什么那么贵？”出租车司机回答说：“oh，mileometer（计 程表）！Made in Japan! It is very fast！” 英语笑话（七） 英语老师问一个学生，“How are you是什么意思” 学生想how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你？” 老师生气又问另一个同学：“How old are you ?是什么意思？” 这个同学想了想说：“怎么老是你。” 英语笑话（八） 某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。 该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。 签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“ 该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“ 男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.” 英语笑话（九） 一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。 他不放心的问道:turn left？ 监考官回答：right. 于是他立刻向右转。 很抱歉他只有下次再来。
潘潘大小J
超级搞笑英语笑话
总是有些时候莫名其妙的不开心，心情不佳的时候就会办什么都不在状态，你会这样么?这里我收集整理了超级搞笑英语笑话，让你的心情速速好起来。
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
As a courier for an express delivery service，I tried to deliver a package that required refrigeration, but found no one home. I went to the house next door and told the woman who answered that I had a package for her neighbor."Oh，she works Monday through Friday and every other Saturday,“said the woman，“said the woman, "and some Sundays. She leaves about 7:40 in the morning and gets home around 5:30，unless she goes to the store, in which case it's closer to seven. And she's going to the store tonight because her kids are coming to visit her all the way from California!"
我是一名快件邮递员。我曾一次送一个需冷东的包裹。但主人不在家。我便敲开了邻居的门，那邻居说我说的包裹是她的邻居的`。“噢，她从星期一到星期五，包括每隔一个星期六工作。”那位女邻居说.“有时她星期天也工作。她每天早上七点四十离家，下午五点半回来。如果她要去商店，差不多七点才能回来。今天晚上她要去商店的，因为她的孩于将
特地从加利福尼亚来看她。”
When she paused to take a breath, I asked if she would accept her neighbor's package. "Oh，no, I can't do that，“she said. "I don't know her that well.”
她停下喘气的工夫，我问她能否替邻居先把这包裹收下。“峨，不行，我可不能收。”她说:“我对她不怎么了解。”
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.
在购买我的第一部CD唱机时，我能够解读推销标记上面的大多数技术语言。但是有一个标示却让我颇为迷惑，于是我叫过销售商，问道：‘混合脉冲D/A变换器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她说，这个机器能够读CD碟上加码的数字信息，将它转换成声音信息-也就是说，转换成音乐。换句话说，这个CD唱机能够播放CD碟。正是如此。
MayQueen小乖
1、The Fish NetCan you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.鱼网你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安? 老师发问道。把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。2、The New TeacherGeorge comes from school on the first of September.George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....新老师9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。《律师、宝马和胳膊》一个律师打开他的宝马车门，突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了，警察赶到现场，律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。“警察同志，看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。“你们律师真是物质至上，我很不舒服!”警察反驳说，“你这么关心你可恶的宝马，你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀，“天哪，我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW."Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined."You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"《狗住旅店》一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
优质英语培训问答知识库
