乐调人生百味
TheminorstoryofEnglishOnceuponatine,therelivedarichman.Hehadaservant.Heandtheservantlovedwineandgoodfoodverymuch.Eachtinetherichmanlefthishome;theservantwoulddrinkthewineandeatupallthenicefoodinthehouse.Therichmanknewwhathisservantdid,buthehadnevercaughthisservantdoingthat.Onemorning,whenhelefthome,hesaidtotheservant,“Herearetowbottlesofpoisonandsomenicefoodinthehouse.Youmusttakecareofthem.”Withthesewords,hewentout.Buttheservantknewwhattherichmanhadsaidwasuntrue.Aftertherichmanwasawayfromhishome,heenjoyedanicemeal.Becausehedranktoomuch,hewasdrunkandfelltotheground.Whentherichmancameback,hecouldn’tfindhisfoodandhiswine.Hebecameveryangry.Hewoketheservantup.Buttheservanttoldhisstoryverywell.Hesaidacathadeatenupeverything.Hewasafraidtobepunished,sohedrankthepoisontokillhimself.从前有一个时候，有一个富人。他有一个仆人。他和仆人爱酒水和良好的食物非常多。每当有钱人离开家；仆人就喝葡萄酒，吃的所有食物中的好房子。有钱的人知道仆人做了什么，但是他从来没有被他的仆人这样做。一天早上，当他离开家时，他对仆人说，“这里有两瓶毒药和一些不错的食物在家。你必须好好照看它们。”说完这些话，他出去了。仆人知道富人说是不真实的。在富人离开家后，他有一个很好的餐。因为他喝得太多了，他喝醉了，倒在地上。富人回来后，找不到他的食物和酒。他变得很生气。他醒来的仆人了。仆人告诉他的故事非常好。他说，猫吃了一切。他害怕受到惩罚，所以他喝毒药自杀
.芒果pai
初中英语幽默小故事笑话
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来初中英语幽默小故事精选，欢迎大家阅读!
I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.
One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!
我当过很短时间的邮递员。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有过不少麻烦。
有一天，我设法到一座大房子去递送几封信。我开始打开门，这时，突然一只很大的狗朝我跑来。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮着，因此我把信件扔在了栅栏上。那只狗拾起那些信件，把信件带进了大房子。比起我来讲，那只狗是个更好的邮递员。
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement。
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
"Did you get the dog back?"
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
一群商人正热烈地讨论在电视上做广告。他们中没有人做过，所以每个人都有自己的想法。
此时，格雷先生进来了。格雷是一个汽车经销商，他曾经做过一次广告。
“你们在讨论什么?”格雷先生问。
“广告有用不?”其中一位商人问。
“噢，有用，而且见效非常快。”格雷先生说，“我曾经发布了一条广告，要花100美金寻找一条丢失的看门狗。”
“你的狗找到了吗?”
“没，但是那个晚上我的三辆车被偷走了。”
A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked his horn.
"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.
"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.
"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.
一位农民和他的儿子坐着马车来到一条狭窄的小巷， 他们看到一个司机正往他们这个方向开来。两个方向2英里以内已经没有空间让他们擦身而过了。司机焦急地按着喇叭。
“假如你不往后退，”农民撸着袖子说，“我并不喜欢我将要必须去做的事。”司机甚是惊讶，挂了倒挡，退后了2英里，让马车先过去了。
“刚才你说你并不喜欢做的事是什么啊?”农民的儿子问。
“退后2英里。”农民回答。
HELLO小不不
GoodExcuse好借口Therewasamiddle-agedmanwhoboughtaMercedesconvertible2000.有个中年男子买了一辆奔驰2000敞篷车。Hetookoffdowntheroad,flooringitupto80mphandenjoyingthewindblowingthroughwhatlittlehairhehadleftonhishead.他开车上路，加速到时速80英里，享受着风儿吹过头上那头超短发的快感。“Thisisgreat,”hethoughtandflooreditsomemore.“好舒服。”他边想边继续加速。HelookedinhisrearviewmirrorandseesaStatePatrolbehindhim.这时，他从后照镜看到后面有个公路警察。“Icangetawayfromhimwithnoproblem,”thoughtthemanandflewdowntheroadatover100mph.“要把他甩掉还不容易。这个人边想边加速”到100多英里急驰而去。Thenhethought,“WhatamIdoing?I’mtoooldforthiskindofthing,”andpulledovertothesideoftheroadandwaitedforthepoliceofficer.接着他又想说：“我到底在干吗？这把年纪实在不适合做这种事。于是把车停到路边等警”察来。TheofficerpulledinbehindtheMercedesandwalkeduptotheman.警察把车停在这辆奔驰后面，走到这个人旁边。“
