英语小短文超搞笑

民间笑话的根本功能在于引人发笑,在这个使人紧张而倍感压抑的商品经济时代,笑话成了抚慰人焦灼灵魂的一剂良药。下面是我带来的好笑的 英语笑话 小短文，欢迎阅读!好笑的英语笑话小短文篇一 Fame and hardwork 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇二 Home alone 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇三 Peter decides the grade 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 好笑的英语笑话小短文篇四 Being considerate 善解人意 I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture. 像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的 广告 牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。 My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?" 我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?” 看了“好笑的英语笑话小短文”的人还看了： 1. 英语爆笑短文 2. 超级搞笑英语笑话小短文 3. 经典英语笑话小短文精选 4. 英语版笑话 5. 经典爆笑英文小笑话阅读

1、Text(正文):The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but hisgrandma doted on him. He hardly left her side.

And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.

When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.

"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"

"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"

六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。

约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”

“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”

2、Text(正文):The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

3、Text(正文):One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.

When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the  most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？

4、Text(正文):"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds.

Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

5、Text(正文):A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."

Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."

At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"

一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。”

过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”

扩展资料：

第一个笑话中spoil造句示例如下：

1、Others say they do not want to spoil their children by leaving them too much.

还有人表示，他们不想给子女留下太多钱，以免宠坏他们。

2、Once you pop open the cork, wines can spoil in a matter of hours.

一旦你打开软木塞，葡萄酒就会在数小时内变质。

3、They say it only takes a few bad apples to spoil the bunch.

他们说这只需要少数的害群之马便可毁了一堆。

4、A fond mother may spoil her child.溺爱的母亲可能会宠坏她的孩子。

5、The child was spoilt by his grandfather.这个孩子被他的爷爷给惯坏了。

参考资料：百度百科——spoil

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