关于学英语的小品

英语搞笑小品剧本《今天你VOA了吗？》 Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）Wow, everything is ready!糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)Scene2（At the school gate）N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!M: Let’s ask him.A: OK!C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）M&A: Why?C: I’m dirty！M: No, you look nice!C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）M&A: How much are they?S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）M&A: Money?(对视)M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）A: Me too.S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)M: What can we do now?A: Let’s ask dad for money.M: But how to ask?A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）M: Good idea!(全部下场)Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)A: And play the guitar for us!M: We know you play so well!(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)D: Oh? What a bright day today!M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)D:OKOK! Let’s.(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?M&A: Of course!(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。)D: What’s the matter?M: Dad, we have no money!A: Can we have some please?D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.A: They look so sweet and nice!M: Other students always buy them!D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间)M: What shall we do now?A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)M: Dad, I want a new eraser!A: I want a longer ruler!M&A: Dad, please！D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?M&A: Yes, sir!D: Here you are !( 给钱)M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）A: …….D: What’s wrong?M: I’ve a stomachache!A: Me too!D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?M: Yes. We had some candies just now.A: I had some too!D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）M: But they look nice!A: And tastes good!M&A: Aiyo……D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!M&A: OK.Scene 4: (At the school gate)N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）D: He?(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)P: What’s the matter with them?D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）S: OK. I know. (羞愧)C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?M&A: OK, dad!P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.D: OK, Let’s go.N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

BOSSY: Whiskey! Give me whiskey! DAISY: No more whiskey. You’ve drunk too much. Now go to bed to have a rest. BOSSY: Just wine is enough… OK! If you don’t take it, I’ll get it myself! DAISY: No way! You mustn’t do that. BOSSY: You old witch! DAISY (cry):Help! NOISY: Shall we go to the park? LAZY: Good idea! CRAZY: That sounds really good. But you see, we are not sure if your father will let us go out, so you’d better ask him first. LAZY: Yes, you’re right. Let’s go to ask him. LAZY: Daddy? BOSSY:……… LAZY: You look so handsome today… LAZY: …and very kind. And I think if you let us go to the park. You’ll be the best father in the world. BOSSY: Really? OK. Go ahead. DAISY: Stop!…Both of you can go, no problem, but Noisy must stay here. NOISY: Well. I just want to go with them and then do my housework. DAISY: Yes, you mustn’t go anywhere until all the work is finishes. LAZY: But I want her to go with me! You see, if I go there without her, then I won’t enjoy myself! CRAZY: Why? That sounds really strange! You said you cannot leave her, why is that? She is only a maid! LAZY: Shut up! You don’t understand at all. She is, she is my GF! CRAZY: What! I… BOSSY: You are only ten! How can you have two GF? Yes, when you declared that Crazy is yours, I have no attitude —— That is because her family is a rich one—— DAISY: Then we saw you buy chocolate for her, take her to the cinema. BOSSY: And I’ve already fed up.You had been fired. This is the wage for today, now go to take your package and go away. NOISY:……Peacock flies to southeast. And there is a wander once five miles. LAZY: You cannot do that Dad! You cannot… CRAZY: Shut up! BOSSY: Go, can’t you hear? Go to the devil! LAZY: OK, Dad, if you determined to drive Noisy away, I’ll go with her. Don’t be afraid. Let’s go together. DAISY: Oh dear, what shall we do then? BOSSY: Whiskey! Give me whiskey!

全英文的！：：甲:亲爱的观众朋友们，大家晚上好！（鞠躬） 乙：Good evening everyone ,Dear my friends。 甲：你说什么？ 乙：我说英语啊！ 甲：英语？英国老鼠？好家伙，来一中半个学期，成了洋鬼子了。 乙：这不是洋鬼子。这是世界普通话嘛——English.你懂吗？ 甲：哦，世界普通话。我也会说。世界不懂话嘛。我说给你听。 乙：你说说给我听！ 甲：…… 乙：这是什么东东呀？ 甲：哈，听不懂就对了。这就是你说的世界不懂话。说了谁也听不懂的话。 乙：咳，你这个人，什么年代了，还这么落后，我说的可是正宗英语，现在 已经成了世界通用的语言了，所以 叫世界普通话。就象中国普通话一样普及。 甲：是嘛。你这么说，我倒要见识见识了。 乙：你想学英语？ 甲：废话。不学不就象你说的，落后了嘛？ 乙；对，你真聪明！ 甲：你可以教我嘛？ 乙；好啊！ 甲：太谢谢你了，那，比如，见了面用英语怎么打招呼呀？ 乙：这很容易，招手：Hello…… 甲：哦，（学）二楼！这真的容易。见了面，上二楼，叫我吃饭啊！ 乙：不是二楼！是Hello。 甲：哦，不是二楼，是下楼？让我下楼，又不让我吃饭了？咳…… 乙：你这人真是的，你饿晕了吗？总吃什么饭啊，什么二楼，下楼。还下流呢！看来你真不是学英语的料。不教你了， 甲：哎！不要生气啊，你就再教教我嘛。 乙：好吧！谁叫我是个大好人呢？ 甲：那么，你叫什么名字，怎么说？ 乙：我叫韦东。 甲：不是，我是问你，英语“你叫什么名字”怎么说。 乙：哦，你听啊，What's your name? 甲：（壮话）闻是用name（重复），哦，英语真了不起！ 乙：怎么了？ 甲：我们是壮族的啊！你听啊，英语也和我们壮话一样，教育我们，人家放屁了，千万不要在后面跟着，好好（讲壮话）跟了放屁的人，不是好臭嘛，是吧！ 乙：这怎么是壮话呢？还跟什么放屁连在一起，乱七八糟的。 甲：（傻笑）呵呵。 乙：我可告诉你，你还想不想学英语？ 甲：（赶忙）想学，想学。不就和我们壮话一样嘛。 乙：听了啊，是，就是yes。 甲：咽死！咽死！这多么不吉利啊！ 乙：你说什么？ 甲：咽死，咽死，不说什么！ 乙：好，不呢，英语就是no。 甲：哦，不，英语是这个，脑！ 乙：不是脑袋，是NO。 甲：不就是脑——嘛！ 乙：对 甲：“教室”，用英语怎么说？ 乙：教室是“Class room。” 甲：格拉格rem，格拉格rem,你们的教室是在木楼上面嘛？ 乙：没有啊！ 甲：那你们教室也够吵的啦！ 乙：为什么？ 甲：格拉格rem 格拉格rem 不是同学们在教室里又唱又跳让地板（格拉格rem 格拉格rem） 乙：哇！你这人，想象力还挺丰富的。 甲：是嘛！这样，记英语单词也就快了嘛！ 乙：真有你的！ 甲：让你这么一教，我很快就学会了英语啦。 乙：好啊？那你就把刚才我教给你的英语给我说一遍。 甲：好，听着啊——（说不出来） 乙：快说呀！ 甲：你急什么急呀！我不正准备呢嘛？（又说不出来） 乙：看见了吧？说不出来了！我说你不好好学，怎么说好英语呢？ 甲：谁说我学不好英语啦？听啊，见了面说二楼，然后说我what's your name?如果name了我。那你就会咽死，因为上面“格拉格rem，格拉格rem” 乙：都什么乱七八糟的。

英语短剧《听花开的声音》Listening to the sound of blooming主要角色：小雨，父亲、母亲、 李老师、吴老师（班主任），吴老师的女儿、张老师（生活老师）、四个学生Xiaoyu Dad Mum Miss Li Miss Wu Daughter Miss Zhang Four studerts第一场（暑假后，小雨爸爸又要出去打工了，想让小雨的妈妈也一起去，但要上三年级的小雨让他们感到为难。）Mum: Come here! Come here!Dad: Hi!Mum: What’s wrong?Dad: I have to go out to work in a few days.Mum: Oh! I know.Dad: I’ve thought a lot. You’d better go with me.Mum: I’d love to. But what will Xiaoyu do without us?Dad: That is what I’m worrying about! If only we could go together. We can work for two more years to build our house. Then we needn’t go.Mum: But, Xiaoyu?Dad: Oh, yeah!I’v got it. There may be some boarding schools.Mum: I’ve heard of it. Tongtong, our neighbor’s daughter, is studying in our country. I remember the name of the school seems to be Songlin Primary School.Dad: Let’s inquire it before we decide tomorrow. If that didn’t help there would be other waysMum: Enn, OK!第二场（小雨的父母到县城打听寄宿制学校的情况，来到了松林小学。）Dad: Excuse me. May I come in?Miss Li: Come in, please. Can I help you?Dad: I want to send my daughter to study here.Miss Li: Where are you from?Dad: We are from Xiao’ an village.Miss Li: Well, our school is only for the students whose household registrations are in country. I’m sorry to tell you she can’t.Mum: Can’t she really come? We will both go out to work in a few days. She is left alone at home. We are worried about her.Miss Li: What? Go out to work!Mum: Yeah!Miss Li: Oh, If that so, you’re lucky. We could receive the children whose parents have gone to the cities to do business and find jobs since last year.Dad: Is that true? Thank goodness.Mum: By the way. What if she can’t take care of herself at a very small age?Miss Li : Rest assured of that. There are some special life teachers in our school. Even at night, they will be on duty by turns.Dad: How about studying?Miss Li: Don’t worry. Our school pays more attention to the teaching of cultural course, as well as offers 5 featuring projects of English, reading, writing and so on.Mum: Oh! It’s good news!Dad: Let’s go home quickly and tell Xiaoyu about it.Dad and Mum: Thank you! Bye-bye!Miss Li: Goodbye!第三场（在同学和老师的帮助下，小雨在学校逐渐成长了起来。）Miss Wu: Good morning, class. Today, There is a new student in our class. Her name is Xiaoyu.Xiaoyu: Hello！Ss: Hello！Miss Wu: Her parents are also working outside. From now on, she will beone of us. Let’s welcome her.Xiaoyu, This is your seat. Sit down, and we’ll begin our class.Boys and girls, books can lead to growing up, Reading can enlarge our life. Let’s join in the New Education Experiment and have a meaningful study life. Let’s read a poem： A Book.Ss：《神奇的书》狄金森没有一艘非凡的战舰, 能像一册书籍把我们带到浩瀚的天地There is no frigate like a book to take us lands away 也没有一匹神奇的坐骑,能像一页诗扉带我们领略人世的真谛Nor any coursers like a page of prancing poetry 即令你一贫如洗,也没有任何栅栏能阻挡你在书的王国遨游的步履This traverse may the poorest take without oppress of toll 多么质朴无华的车骑,可是它却装载了人类灵魂中全部的美！How frugal is the chariot that bears a human soul Miss Wu: Class is over.Ss: Goodbye! Miss Wu.(课间活动：舞蹈)第四场（晚上十点左右，吴老师家。吴老师的女儿刚刚睡着，生活老师张老师打来电话，小雨发高烧需要及时送往医院，但张老师正在值班。）Miss Wu: This is Miss Wu. Who’s that?Miss Zhang: This is Miss Zhang. I’m sorry to call you so late.Miss Wu: What’s up?Miss Zhang: Xiaoyu has a fever. I’m on duty. Can you come to school now?Miss Wu: Oh!Miss Zhang: Can’t you come? Have you got anything to do now?Miss Wu: It doesn’t matter. I’m going at once.Miss Zhang: Oh! I will wait for you in the dorm.Miss Wu: All right.(放下电话自言自语。)Miss Wu: My baby is asleep. Her dad isn’t at home. What if she wake up at midnight. What am I going to do? Come to school first. just hope she wouldn’t wake up.（孩子半夜醒来却找不到妈妈。）Daughter：Mummy, mummy! Where are you? Where are you? Mummy, mummy!Miss Wu: Oh! My baby.Daughter：Mummy, I’m frightened.Miss Wu: Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.Daughter：Where did you go? Mummy.Miss Wu: I went to school.Daughter：I couldn’t find you. Mummy.Miss Wu: My baby. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. My baby. From now on, I must tell you if I go out.Daughter：I feel sleepy.Miss Wu: Go to sleep now.(第二天早上学生上课前)S1：How are you feeling now? Xiaoyu.Xiaoyu: I feel better. Thank you!S1: Do you know what festival it is today?Ss: No.S1: Let me tell you. Today is Thanksgiving Day.S2: Thanksgiving Day? I heard people should say the prayers according to custom. And should say a few words about what they are the most thankful for .S1: Yeah! That’s right. I think I should thank Mum for telling stories every night. What about you?S3: I thank Dad for reading with me.Xiaoyu: I think we should thank our teacher. I stay at school without my parents. But I don’t feel alone.S2: Yeah! You’re right. Our teachers are like a mother to us.S3: I think so. Xiaoyu. When did Miss Wu leave school?Xiaoyu: About one o’clock.S3: Oh! It was so late. I heard Miss Wu left her child alone last night.S2: What about her husband?S3: I heard he was on business outside.S1: Really! Her daughter is only five years old.S2: I think Xiaoyu is right. We should thank our teacher.Ss: En.(一起上场扶起老师，为学校和老师献上一首歌《感恩的心》。)感恩的心 My thankful heart.感谢有你 Grateful to you.伴我一生 Keep me company,让我有勇气作我自己 let me brave to be myself.感恩的心 My thankful heart,感谢命运 Grateful to fate.花开花落 blooming of fading,我一样会珍惜 I’ll still cherish them.Ss: Thank our teachers! Thank our school！