安德鲁鱼
1． Honesty诚实A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.“Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thirty-five.”“I am very sorry,”said the manager,“we cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy.”As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk, who had overheard the conversation.“You must not be so frank and tell the truth,”said the clerk,“no office will insure you if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little.”The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.“Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died?”“Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football.”
翔雨lollipop
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”
huangxinru7
Story 1: Trick of Stealing WatermelonsAh Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a small stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The two men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it smelt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The two men moved smoothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled two bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads.故事之一：偷瓜妙计阿Q依旧偷性不改。未庄张家的西瓜又大又甜，远近闻名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴馋，便约王胡一起摸黑爬到张家的西瓜地旁，摇曳的烛光中，隐约可见竹床躺着一位看瓜的伙计。二位不敢贸然行事，于是，阿Q先摸了一小块石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙计没有反应，或许他睡着了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸着了一堆粘乎乎的东西，凑近鼻子一闻，酸臭酸臭，“妈妈的！”阿Q禁不住在心里骂道。这时隐约听见轻轻的象是拉风箱的声音。“对了，这是鼾声”，阿Q心想，不由一阵欣喜，拉着王胡朝竹床爬过去想探个究竟。的的确确是鼾声，阿Q对着王胡耳语一番。二人蹑手蹑脚地来到竹床边，轻轻地连人带竹床一起抬到离瓜地不远的水塘边，将竹床紧临水塘放好，并使放鞋的一边正对水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大胆地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，拣最大的摘了两大袋子，扛着袋子走了。走了约二三百米，阿Q回过头来大喊一声：“有人偷瓜罗！”随后听见远处扑通一声，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便头也不回地去了。But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?" "Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!" 可是老师哭了 六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。 约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？” “哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
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