1分钟英语小笑话

幼儿 英语 故事 对激发幼儿 学习英语 兴趣,培养幼儿的听、说及交际等诸方面的能力有着不可或缺的作用。我整理了关于1分钟幽默英语小故事，欢迎阅读!关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇一 A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. 一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。 Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. " 那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。” "That's a great sorrow to us," said St. Peter, "but you won-t find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter. " “我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出G。d这个词你就能进入天堂。” Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?" 那名犹太人正确地拼出 God后，被招入门内。 接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?” "My son, your troubles are over. Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. " “小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。” The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom. 印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。 Next, the black man strode forward. "St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here, will it?" 接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!” "Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours " “当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!” 关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇二 The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnant with her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy. 一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。 On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital. 手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。 "Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May. "亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。" "Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important. "宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!" 关于1分钟幽默英语小故事篇三 Smith was the manager of a construction',event)">construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?" 史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?” "Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. " “当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“廿万元工资，廿万元材科费。” Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction',event)">Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000. 下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。 "Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?" “嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。“你们有明细表吗?’ " $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. " “四十万元材料，四十万元工资。” "I'll get back to you. " “我以后再同你联系。” Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. 最后可翰·高斯坦·雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百廿万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。 " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a brea kdown on that?" “一百廿万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道：“你可以给我一张明细表吗?" "No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400 . 000 for the Polacks. “没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。” 看了“关于1分钟幽默英语小故事”的人还看了： 1. 英语小故事1分钟幽默 2. 一分钟幽默英语笑话故事 3. 一分钟英语幽默小故事 4. 英语小故事3分钟幽默 5. 英语小故事1分钟左右 6. 英语新颖小故事1分钟

这是最好的，一年级也会但很深奥哦：一个老师说：How are you的意思是什么没有学生回答老师说：怎么是你。How:怎么，are：是，you你老师说：很好那How old are you 呢？学生说：怎么老是你（你可以翻译为英语）

1.Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Brack, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.""Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher."Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.2.这个笑话挺好笑的.生字应该不多.你自己也学查查字典.(我说个大意噢:一位伊利若州男子离开 冰天雪地的芝加哥到佛罗里达州度假.他的妻子正在外地公干,准备到时候在佛州会合.该男子到了佛州,驻进酒店,就急忙给他妻子发电子邮件.但是他将太太的网址打错一个字母,结果这封邮件发到了一位牧师太太手里,她的丈夫前一天刚过世,她为此在伤心欲绝.当她打开这封错发来的邮件时,惨叫一声,两腿一蹬,死了.邮件是这样写的:亲爱的,我刚来报到.正准备迎接你明天的到来.爱你的夫君对了,这下面真的好热唉.(Illinois是美国东部一个州.冬天很冷.Florida在美国南部,一年气候都比较热. )A BIG E-mail Mistake 一封致命的邮件An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:Dearest Wife,Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.Your Loving Husband.P.S. Sure is hot down here.

关于英语的笑话集锦

导语：爱笑的人运气总不会太差，，这里我收集整理了一些英语笑话，说不定能点中你的笑穴哦。

1.Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day? Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".

2.One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?" After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. "Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked. The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

3. One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition——If I am a manager.

All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

4. Doctor: Your cough sounds much better today.

Patient: It should. I've been practicing all night.

5.Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.

"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."

"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"

"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."

6.one day, a father and his little son were going home. at this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. now, he asked, "what's the meaning of the word 'drunk', dad?" "well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. if i regard the two policemen as four then i am drunk."

"but, dad," the boy said, " there's only one policeman!"

翻译

1.老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到?汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

2.一天，一位大学心理学教授向他的新生们问候。他站在学生们的面前说：“如果哪位同学认为自己傻，就请站起来。” 大约过了一分钟，一位年轻人站了起来。教授说：“嗨，你好。你真的认为自己是个低能儿么?” 这个孩子回答道：“不是的，先生，我只是不忍心看着只有你自己站在这里。”

3.一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。

所有的'学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。

“我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

4.医生：听上去你咳嗽今天好多了。

病人：应该如此。我昨晚练习了一整夜

5.一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。

"大夫!"他说，"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"

"天哪，"大夫说，"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"

"实话告诉您吧，大夫，"穷人说，"我当时还不缺钱!"

6.一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”

“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

请问绕口令可以吗，读起来也挺好笑的

A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年轻者” 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话， 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。” 英语笑话（八）Which woman? One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield." My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?" 哪一位女人？ 一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。” 我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？” 英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs "Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs." 医生住在楼下 “医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。 “我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。” 他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。” 英语笑话（十）One Engine Left A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult." Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late." At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!" 只剩一个引擎 一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。” 回答者：lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08 提问者对于答案的评价： 嘻嘻 评价已经被关闭 目前有 8 个人评价 好 50% （4） 不好 50% （4） 对最佳答案的评论 GOOD! 评论者： YABNV - 魔法学徒 一级 其他回答共 2 条 Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理 A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?" 逻辑推理 小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？” [注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。 Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗? This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses． One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations． “I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！” “But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness． “There are not！” snapped the lawyer． “Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？” 这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。 有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。 “我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。” “可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。 “不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。 “噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？” Two Birds Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。 老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。 "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?" "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl. 鱼网 "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。 "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。 昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打” Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？ 体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？ Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night. 尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！ Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it. 老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。 Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.” 尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”