英文话剧四人

《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》英语话剧P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother. F: Father. K: King -Grandpa. 旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. . 正剧：(P,K出场) P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second. K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状) P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状) Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼) K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状) P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates! K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状) P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.（作气愤欲泣状） K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these. P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状) K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状) P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊) K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man. P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状) K: Oh?! You are right（作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔） P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状) K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状) P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状) K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状) P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状) （M,F携手进场）: P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前) M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状) P:（作阳痿状） Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧) M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K) K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎) M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ? F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear? M: Yes, really a good suggestion. （P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)（P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰） P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold? K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷) M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold? P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视) M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状) P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状) M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状) P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状) M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状) P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状) M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad ! K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线) P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状) M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状) K: I know the disadvantage. But TV also teaches him a lot of things which he can’t learn from books, Such as survival ability and communication skills. (中气不足状，因为理由不充分) M: Just those force, fighting and cheat? (置疑状) P: Mummy, I apologize that I have cheated you. (诚恳状) I won’t do that next time. Can you forgive me this time, Mummy. (做鬼脸,逗妈妈开心) M: Pick up trick. It doesn’t work this time. (义正言辞状) P: Mummy, not next time, ok? ( 作悲伤状，以引起妈妈的同情) (M不理P) M: Dad. I know you love little pirate very much, but I think you should choose the right way. Spoiling is not true love. It’s the poison in honey. (作严肃状) F: Yes, Dad, Pirate has a lot of things to do. We should be his guide, not to carry out everything he said. We can bring him to the library to see what books attract him most. We can help him to develop his interest, shape his personality, and improve his intelligence and so on. I think it’s the right way to love our little Pirate. Do you think so, dear? (很理智，明晰状) M: It’s just what I want to say. (赞同状 ) F: Ok, I should change my way of loving him. I should let him do his own thing and be his guide. (作彻悟状) P: Oh, so much time has passed. I eager to go to wash room, I can’t bear it. (捂小腹，作难受状) K: Ok, I go to bring the paper, don’t worry! I’ll accompany with you. (作习惯性状，因为Pirate的大小便通常都由King主管) M、F：No, let him do that himself, and be his guide. (同声提醒K) K: Oh, yes, little Pirate, it’s your job now, nobody can help. You should do it yourself. (作揶揄状) P: Xi, I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I can do it. (跨进厕所，作藐视状，有什么大不了，不就进个厕所吗) M、F、K: Brave Pirate! (作自豪状，含有夸奖意) P: Oh, my god! The washroom is so large and dark! (害怕状，因为从末一个人进厕所) M、F、K: (All 晕倒)

四人英语话剧剧本-The Rolling Orange The Rolling Orange讲述桔子的故事。一天早上，桔子一家醒来，发现人们开着卡车，搬着梯子，来摘桔子了，快来看看他们的命运如何吧。 人物 Tom: Father Orange Klye: Mother Orange Wallis: Older Sister Orange Jessie: Little Brother Orange Characters Father Orange: He is a middle-aged, considerate, and thoughtful man. Mother Orange: She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father. She is also very optimistic. Older Sister Orange: She is young , energetic, and competitive . Little Brother Orange: He is the youngest and, therefore, a little spoiled. SCENE I 场景一：果园 One Morning in an Orange Orchard. (Today is a sunny day . An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard. ) Father: I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning). Mother: Well, it wasn’t the first time to be like this. Sister: A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks. Brother: That really scared me. They got out and started to climb up ladders. Sister: (Afraid suddenly) Oh! My friends were grabbed and put into large bags. I could hear them yell for help. Father: Hey! We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise, they’ll notice us. Mother: But it’s useless. Sister: Oh, God! We’re discovered! Brother: Oh! We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches. What will we do for food and water? Sister: It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers. Mother: Well, we’ll just have to do our best. Father: Yeah! SCENE II On a Fruit Stand. (After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour, they are placed on a fruit stand. ) Sister: Gee! This place is so cold and desolate. I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall). Brother: I tried to make friends with these people on our way here, but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared. (Suddenly) Sister: Oh! Mother! How could they do that? Mother: What are you talking about? Brother: I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look). Father: What did you see? Sister: My friends were cut up and eaten. How could they do that? I’m so scared. Father: Now, children, be calm. Mother: Sh~ Someone’s coming. Father: Try to be quiet. Sister: I don’t want to be taken away. Brother: Oh! My friend’s being taken away. Sister: Your friend looks so fat. Mother: If we look sour, maybe we won’t be taken away. Brother: That’s a bright idea. But how could we look sour? Mother: Now, children, stop being scared and calm down. Father: Oh! No! I’m being looked at. Mother: I told you not to eat so much. Now you look so fat and juicy. (Father is being taken away.) Brother: Oh, no, Dad! Father: (Sadly) Good bye, children. Sister: Oh! Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away. Mother: Oh, no! Brother: Stop that. Our father can’t be taken away. Mother: Look, he’s being bagged and put into a cart. Sister: Hey! The cart’s wheels are going out of the store. Brother: A car’s pulling up. Mother: Oh, no! His bag is being picked up. Sister: But it’s breaking. And Dad’s falling out. Brother: Dad’s rolling away. All: (Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL! ROLL! He’s getting away. Sister & Brother: Yip! Yip! Hurray for Dad! Mother: Oh! Thank God.

不妨试一试表演这个英语小话剧。Three Times’ Beating Monster人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?S: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)?E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?E: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..?S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb?(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: Wukong?E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What?T: I'm sorry.S: Em? Louder,please?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T: Let's go guys!( 歌)S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet...... 此外，如果阁下不喜欢的话，还有这个Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A), Candy(C), Policeman(P)Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景Scene1（At Salesman’s home）N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)First, put the flour on the table.Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)Now press, press……Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)Press, press……Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……Now let me cut it into pieces!One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）Wow, everything is ready!糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now it’s so beautiful! Haha……C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)Scene2（At the school gate）N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come out happily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual. （Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!M: Let’s ask him.A: OK!C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）M&A: Why?C: I’m dirty！M: No, you look nice!C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）M&A: How much are they?S: Do you have money?（轻蔑）M&A: Money?(对视)M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）A: Me too.S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)M: What can we do now?A: Let’s ask dad for money.M: But how to ask?A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him happy ,and he will give us money.（自信）M: Good idea!(全部下场)Scene 3:（At Maggie’s home）N: The children have to go home and ask dad for some money, and they know their father is good at playing guitar, so they will do something clever. (爸爸看报)M: Dad,dad,let’s sing a song ,OK? (同时Alice去取吉他准备拿给爸爸)A: And play the guitar for us!M: We know you play so well!(爸爸诧异地看着孩子)D: Oh? What a bright day today!M&A: Please, dad!(哀求)D:OKOK! Let’s.(取吉他，开始准备)D: Which song do you like? How about Edelweiss?M&A: Of course!(开始弹，第一段孩子随节奏起舞，第二段孩子开始轻声讨论起来“you first”之类的话，爸爸停止弹琴。)D: What’s the matter?M: Dad, we have no money!A: Can we have some please?D: I think you have lots of pocket money ,and you don’t need any more.M:I want to buy some candies at the school gate.A: They look so sweet and nice!M: Other students always buy them!D: But……You can’t ! They are quite unhealthy. Please go and do your homework..(置之不理，转头看报，孩子回到房间)M: What shall we do now?A: Let me think …well, I know!(轻声在Maggie耳边说)M: Oh, you are so clever! Let’s go.(回到爸爸身边)M: Dad, I want a new eraser!A: I want a longer ruler!M&A: Dad, please！D: Things are expensive these days. We have to save money!M: But dad, my eraser is too small now!(拿出破橡皮来给爸爸看)A: And my ruler is broken.（拿出断尺）D: OK, children. I believe you this time, make sure, don’t buy the food at the school gate. It’s unhealthy! Do you know?M&A: Yes, sir!D: Here you are !( 给钱)M&A: Thanks very much, dad! Bye!(非常高兴，下场)N: The next day, when the class is over ,Maggie and Alice come to the salesman again. They are happy to buy the candies and then have them, but soon they feel a stomachache.(孩子高兴地买了糖，边吃边回家，小贩下场，孩子到家后肚子痛)M: Aiyo!……（两人躬着背进场）A: …….D: What’s wrong?M: I’ve a stomachache!A: Me too!D: What did you eat? The food at the school gate?M: Yes. We had some candies just now.A: I had some too!D: Oh! You’ve cheated me! You bought the candies instead of the eraser and ruler. I always tell you that don’t buy the food at the school gate, they are unhealthy!（生气）M: But they look nice!A: And tastes good!M&A: Aiyo……D:Well, Let’s go to the salesman together and have a look!M&A: OK.Scene 4: (At the school gate)N: When they get to the school gate, a policeman is asking the salesman to go away.(正走到校门口，发现警察驱赶校门口的小贩)P: Hey! You shouldn’t stay here, leave now!C: Let’s go home, let’s go home! (轻声并拉小贩)S: No! My candies are nice and popular here! And…C: You are telling a lie! I’m very dirty and unhealthy!M&A: Dad, it’s him! Aiyo…（指着小贩）D: He?(警察走过来问爸爸，朝小孩)P: What’s the matter with them?D: They got a stomachache after having his candies.S: Really? But I’ve never heard of it. And……P: Stop, stop!(打断小贩) Look at the two girls! Are you guilty? You must be honest with the students, and don’t sell candies any more.（非常严厉）S: OK. I know. (羞愧)C: Let’s go home. Let’s go home.Policeman(对小孩): Girls, please listen! Don’t buy the candies next time. They are bad for your health.D: Yes, he is right. And you shouldn’t tell a lie to me. Try to be an honest person! Will you?M&A: OK, dad!P: Let’s take them to the hospital now.D: OK, Let’s go.N（出场）: A few days later, the girls recovered. And this story is trying to tell you that some of the phenomenon must be kept down, we hope it could be improved soon. What’s more, we also hope students themselves can be honest and all the salesmen can be honest as well

四人英语话剧剧本-The Rolling OrangeThe Rolling Orange讲述桔子的故事。一天早上，桔子一家醒来，发现人们开着卡车，搬着梯子，来摘桔子了，快来看看他们的命运如何吧。人物Tom: Father OrangeKlye: Mother OrangeWallis: Older Sister Orange Jessie: Little Brother OrangeCharactersFather Orange: He is a middle-aged, considerate, and thoughtful man.Mother Orange: She is a younger and more youthful woman than Father. She is also very optimistic.Older Sister Orange: She is young , energetic, and competitive .Little Brother Orange: He is the youngest and, therefore, a little spoiled.SCENE I 场景一：果园One Morning in an Orange Orchard.(Today is a sunny day . An orange family is discussing nervously about something on an orange tree in an orchard. )Father: I was awakened early this morning by the sound of trucks in the field (yawning). Mother: Well, it wasn’t the first time to be like this.Sister: A whole bunch of strange men was brought in by trucks.Brother: That really scared me. They got out and started to climb up ladders.Sister: (Afraid suddenly) Oh! My friends were grabbed and put into large bags. I could hear them yell for help.Father: Hey! We shouldn’t look at them; otherwise, they’ll notice us.Mother: But it’s useless.Sister: Oh, God! We’re discovered!Brother: Oh! We’re being grabbed and pulled from our branches. What will we do for food and water?Sister: It will be so uncomfortable going to town in that bag with a lot of strangers. Mother: Well, we’ll just have to do our best. Father: Yeah!SCENE II On a Fruit Stand.(After having been on the road in a bag for half an hour, they are placed on a fruit stand. )Sister: Gee! This place is so cold and desolate. I wish we had our friends here on this stand (looks at the opposite fruit stall).Brother: I tried to make friends with these people on our way here, but everyone looked pretty uncomfortable and scared. (Suddenly)Sister: Oh! Mother! How could they do that?Mother: What are you talking about?Brother: I know what she’s talking about (Brother turns to look). Father: What did you see?Sister: My friends were cut up and eaten. How could they do that? I’m so scared. Father: Now, children, be calm. Mother: Sh~ Someone’s coming. Father: Try to be quiet.Sister: I don’t want to be taken away. Brother: Oh! My friend’s being taken away. Sister: Your friend looks so fat.Mother: If we look sour, maybe we won’t be taken away. Brother: That’s a bright idea. But how could we look sour? Mother: Now, children, stop being scared and calm down. Father: Oh! No! I’m being looked at.Mother: I told you not to eat so much. Now you look so fat and juicy. (Father is being taken away.)Brother: Oh, no, Dad!Father: (Sadly) Good bye, children.Sister: Oh! Dad’s being put into the basket and taken away. Mother: Oh, no!Brother: Stop that. Our father can’t be taken away. Mother: Look, he’s being bagged and put into a cart.Sister: Hey! The cart’s wheels are going out of the store. Brother: A car’s pulling up.Mother: Oh, no! His bag is being picked up. Sister: But it’s breaking. And Dad’s falling out. Brother: Dad’s rolling away.All: (Jumping up and down cheering) ROLL! ROLL! He’s getting away. Sister & Brother: Yip! Yip! Hurray for Dad! Mother: Oh! Thank God.

地址在这里，你自己选吧具体内容 英语剧本-《不差钱》英文版 小品：“不差钱” （2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目） 编创者 崔凯 等 表演者 赵本山、沈鹤、毕福剑、王金凤（毛毛） （舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。） (This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.) 赵本山：到了。 毛毛： 到了。 赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情（tiáo qíng）。 毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调（qíng diào）。 赵本山：啊，情调？就搁这儿吃。 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。 赵本山：贵？咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢？ 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。 赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。 赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗？！这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗？ 毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才？才70多块钱。 赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。 赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员！ Uncle Zhao Here we are. Yadar Here we are. Uncle Zhao It's the most pricy eatin' spot in Tieling: "Scottish Tease / Fool." Yadar You got it wrong - Scottish taste / feel, not tease / fool. Uncle Zhao All right, taste / feel. We're gonna have our meal here anyway. Yadar But it's very expensive. Uncle Zhao So whut? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? Yadar What bag? Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it. Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. Uncle Zhao So whut can you do at all? I'm goin' t'rough all this for you and you had the nerve to forget the bag on the bed! Any money left on you? Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan. Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more. Yadar Still not enough. Uncle Zhao No matter. Waiter! （小沈阳上） 小沈阳：对不起大爷，我们这是高档酒店，不收农副产品。 赵本山：不是，我们是吃饭的。 小沈阳：妈呀，吃饭的？ 赵本山：不像啊？ 小沈阳：不太像。 赵本山：我说姑娘啊，这顿饭非常重要。 小沈阳：妈呀，你管谁叫姑娘呢，人家是纯爷们。 赵本山：咋这么个打扮，还穿个裙子呢。 小沈阳：这是按我们苏格兰风格来包装的。再说也不是裙子啊，这不七分裤吗。你看，是有腿的哦。妈呀，着急穿跑偏了。妈呀，我说走道咋没有裆呢。 赵本山：行了，那条腿留明儿个穿，哈哈哈。小伙子我跟你说呀，今天我要请一位重要客人吃饭，你一定要招待好。 小沈阳：呃，没问题。 赵本山：来来来，我问问你，你们这个酒店，如果要急头白脸吃一顿，得多少钱？ 小沈阳：咋还吃急眼了呢？ 赵本山：我意思就是，最贵的都点上。 小沈阳：得一、两万的。 赵本山：一、两万？啊，那啥，有没有这种情况，今儿个吃完了，明儿个来结账？ (Shenyang, the waiter, enters.) Shenyang Sorry, sir. We're of high class here. We don't take on stuff from street peddlers. Uncle Zhao We're your customers. Don't we look like it? Shenyang Not quite. Uncle Zhao We're gonna have an important meal here, miss. Shenyang Don't you call me a miss. I'm a man - from the inside out. Uncle Zhao Then how c'me you wearin' a skirt? Shenyang Why, it's men's wear in Scottish style. See, it's no skirt but Capri pants. Look at this, look. Oh, damn it, I didn't get into one of the trousers in a hurry. No wonder I feel different while walking. Uncle Zhao Leave that trouser for tomorrow, hah! I tell you, boy, we're gonna have a damn' important guest here in a minute. You should do you' best. Shenyang No problem. Uncle Zhao How much does a meal cost here if we get at it like mad? Shenyang Why so / What's wrong? Uncle Zhao I mean if we order nothin' but the best. Shenyang About 10,000 to 20,000. Uncle Zhao Whut if s'mebody eats today and pays tomorrow? 小沈阳：打白条儿啊？ 赵本山：不是啊，不是打白条，不差钱，有钱。喏。 小沈阳：啥意思？ 赵本山：小费。 小沈阳：妈呀，大爷你真敞亮，你太帅了。 赵本山：给一百块钱还帅呢。我跟你说这不白给啊。一会儿客人到了，你一定要给足我面子，明白吗？我到点菜的时候，你得替我兜着点。 小沈阳：咋兜呢？ 赵本山：既把面子给了，但是呢又不能花得......太狠。我要点贵菜...... 小沈阳：我就说没有呗。 赵本山：哎呀妈呀，你太厉害了。来来来，拿点。再给你30，来。 小沈阳：我跟你都明码的哦。 赵本山：谢谢。 小沈阳：放心吧。 毛毛： 爷爷，我有点饿了。 赵本山：饿了？来碗面条。 小沈阳：呃，78一碗。 赵本山：啥面？这么贵。 小沈阳：苏格兰打卤面。 赵本山：是不是卤子贵？ 小沈阳：卤不要钱。 赵本山：那就来碗卤子，先尝尝咸淡。快去，快去。 小沈阳：妈呀，没这么上过呀。 赵本山：那是我没来，我要来，你早就这么上了。去吧去吧。 小沈阳：这老爷子，我要说面条不要钱，要面条了你还。 Shenyang You'll give me an IOU? Uncle Zhao Not that. I've got the money anyway. Take this. Shenyang What's it? Uncle Zhao A tip for you. Shenyang You do understand people / things / the world, sir - you look cool! Uncle Zhao Whut's a hundred yuan to me! Still, you ain't get it for nothin'. When my guest c'mes, you put on a show with me. If I order expensive food, you should stop me doin' so. Shenyang Like how? Uncle Zhao Showin' due respect for my guest, yes. Spendin' too much on a meal, no. Whut if I ask for somethin' dear? Shenyang I'll say "sorry, this we don't have." Uncle Zhao You're smart. C'me, here's another 30 yuan. Shenyang I'm not gonna cheat you when it comes to prices. Uncle Zhao Thank you, boy. Shenyang Nothing much. Yadar Grandpa, I'm hungry. Uncle Zhao How much's a bowl of noodles? Shenyang 78 yuan. Uncle Zhao Whut noodles can be so expensive? Shenyang Scottish sauced noodles. Uncle Zhao Does the sauce cost much, too? Shenyang It's free. Uncle Zhao Get us a bowl of sauce, so we can see whether the taste's right. Quick. Shenyang That's no way to serve a meal, sir. Uncle Zhao You think so only becuse I didn't show up here before. Now it's time to make s'me change. Shenyang (to himself) Had I said the noodles are free, he would've asked for noodles. (Exits)