武装的蔷薇1
A person from Scotland to London, would like to visit an old friend, but forgot his address, then to my father sent a telegram: "you know Tom's address? So, on the same day, he received an urgent call back: "know." There are three resorts in New York. They have a high-rise hotelbooked a suite of forty-fifth layer. One night, the building elevator failure, the waiter arranged for them to spend the night in the hall. They discuss, decided to walk back to the room, and agreed to make jokes, singing and telling stories, the floor to reduce fatigue. Jokes, sing songs, very not easy to climb to the thirty-fourth floor, we all feel be dead beat. "Well, Peter,you tell a humorous story, Peter said:" the story is not long, but extremely sad: I left the room key in the hall."中文对照：一个苏格兰人去伦敦，想顺便探望一位老朋友，但却忘了他的住址，于是给家父发了一份电报：“您知道托马的住址吗？速告 当天，他就收到一份加急回电：“知道。” 有三个人到纽约度假。他们在一座高层宾馆的第45层订了一个套房。 一天晚上，大楼电梯出现故障，服务员安排他们在大厅过夜。 他们商量后，决定徒步走回房间，并约定轮流说笑话、唱歌和讲故事，以减轻登楼的劳累。 笑话讲了，歌也唱了，好不容易爬到第34层，大家都感觉精疲力竭。 “好吧，彼德，你来讲个幽默故事 彼德说：“故事不长，却令人伤心至极：我把房间的钥匙忘在大厅了。”
TATA木门韩林
如果带有讽刺意义的，可以说是black humour 黑色幽默如果只是不搞笑的冷笑话，有很多种表达方式，unfunny jokes，cold jokes， bad jokes, stupid jokes都可以用来形容冷笑话
CATLION123
黑色幽默，英文名：black humor 美国现代文学流派 。盛行于上个世纪60年代中后期，1965年 ，弗里德曼将12位作家的作品编为一本短篇小说集 ，题名《黑色幽默》，流派的名称由此而得。黑色幽默小说力求突出生存环境的荒谬冷酷，嘲讽挖苦和攻击传统价值与美学观念，表现世界的异化、人性的沦落与情感的破碎。有评论家称之为“绞架下的幽默”或“大难临头时的玩笑”。黑色幽默是可以说是反理性、反理想主义的文学。简单说就是表面好搞笑，往深里是很痛苦的苦中作乐。冷笑话就是其实一点都不好笑的笑话，非常无聊的笑话，但是可以达到精神上放松的目的，因为这种笑话理解起来不动脑筋。 冷笑话一般都超出常规的思维，不符合逻辑和生活实际，让人听了觉得一楞 虽然有些冷笑话挺好玩，但无论怎样，这种笑话听了也不会想那些听“正常”笑话后一样开怀大笑 据说冷笑话一词起源于这样一个经典的冷笑话： 小企鹅有一天问他奶奶，“奶奶奶奶，我是不是一只企鹅啊？”“是啊，你当然是企鹅。”小企鹅又问爸爸，“爸爸爸爸，我是不是一只企鹅啊？”“是啊，你是企鹅啊，怎么了?” “可是，可是我怎么觉得那么冷呢？” 还有一个版本： 一只北极熊孤单的呆在冰上发呆，实在无聊就开始拔自己的毛玩，一根……两根……三根……最后拔的一根不剩，他突然大叫…………好冷啊！！……………… 这种笑话人们听了都会说一句：好冷啊；然后慢慢的，“冷笑话”这个词就形成了。 //冷笑话的起源我“据说”的啊，真正是不是我不知道
林hui杨65928
英文黑色幽默笑话及其翻译（通用8篇）
笑话是一个汉语词汇，意思是引人发笑的话或事情。笑话具有篇幅短小，故事情节简单而巧妙，往往出人意料，给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。下面是我整理的英文黑色幽默笑话及其翻译相关内容。
Fred and Eric were computer programmers,and they appliedfor a single position at a computer company.They both hadthe same qualifications.In order to determine which individual to hire,the manager asked them to take a test.Upon completion of the test,both men missed only one ofthe questions.The manager went to Fred and said,“Thankyou for your interest,but we’ve decided to give the jobto the other applicant.”“And why would you do that? We both got nine questions
correct,” asked Fred.
“We have based our decision not on the correct answers,but on the question you missed,” said the manager.“And just how would one incorrect answer be better thanthe other?” asked Fred.
“Simple,” said the manager.“Your fellow applicant on question #5,‘I don’t know.’ You put down,‘Neither do I.”
弗雷德和埃里克都是电脑程序员，他们到一家电脑公司申请一个职位。
他们俩的条件一样，为了决定雇佣哪一个人，经理让他们参加一个考试。
考试结束时，他们俩都少做一题。经理走到弗雷德跟前说：“感谢你对我公司的兴趣，但我们决定录用另一位申请人了。”
“你们为什么这么做?我们俩都做对了9道题呀。”
“我们做出的决定不是根据正确的答案，而是根据你们没有做出的题。”经理说。
“仅仅根据一个不正确的回答怎么能知道一个比另一个强呢?” 弗雷德问。
“很简单。”经理说：“你的申请人伙伴回答第5题时写的是，‘我不知道’，而你写的是‘我也不知道’。
Give up your seat to a lady
Little Johnny says "Mom,when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy,I was sitting on daddy's lap."
给女士让座
小强尼说：“妈妈，今天早上和爸爸在公车上时，他叫我让座给一位女士。”
妈妈说：“你做得很对呀。”
“但是，妈妈，我是坐在爸爸膝盖上的。”
One day,the father lets eight year-old son send a letter,the son took the letter ,the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back,the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父亲让八岁的`儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
Harry was given two apples,a small one and a large one,by his Mum.Share them with your sister,she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister,If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well,said Harry,that's what you've got,so what are you worrying about?
妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。
哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。
对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗?还着什么急呀?
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ...hit his car broadside,and knocked him cold.Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him.He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics.Later,when he was calm,they asked him why he struggled so.He said,"I remember the impact,then nothing.I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge,flashing 'Shell' sign.And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'"
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上，一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车，当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来，他就拼命的挣扎着，最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿，他平静了，别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎，他说：“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了，当我醒过来，我发现我躺在了路边，前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌，但是有个人挡住了那个‘S’。”
Tom was tired out,and he went to bed as soon as he reached home.
Suddenly it occurred to him that he had planned to do something that evening.As he could not remember what it was,he tossed and turned in his bed for along time.
Finally the thing came to his mind,"My God,the original plan was to go to bed early!" he said depressingly.
汤姆很累，一到家就上床睡觉。
忽然，他想起原来晩上计划做一件事，可他想不起来是什么事，他辗转反侧了很长时间 。
最后他突然想起来了，“上帝，我原来的计划就是早点儿上床睡觉!”他颓丧地自言自语道。
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre,and if you could only save one painting,which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”
获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo,but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside.The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet,but the kangaroo got out again.Exasperated,the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet,but the kangaroo still escaped.A giraffe asked the kangaroo,"How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know," said the kangaroo."Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
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