打怪兽789
小学一年级英语小笑话（精选5篇）
笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是一种民间口头创作形式,在民间文化中以口口相传的形式传播。下面我整理了小学一年级英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!
saying a prayer for his christmas meal圣诞节晚宴上的餐前祷告
lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.
有个小男孩叫lee, 今年七岁，圣诞节晚餐开桌前，家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他，lee开始做他得祷告，首先，他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈，哥哥姐姐诶，奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后，他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。
he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"
他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡，馅儿饼，圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后lee停下来了 ，大家等啊等啊。。。。lee沉默了很长时间，然后抬起头看着他妈妈说：“妈妈，如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜，他会知道我在撒谎吗?”
p.s:
国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜，不知道为什么，看《绝望主妇》里面lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜，请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验，看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。
'Isn't the head teacher a bit of a twit?' said a boy to a girl.
一个小男孩跟小女孩说：“你有没有觉得班主任有点傻?”
'Well, do you know who I am?' inquired the girl.
小女孩回答到：“啊哈，你知道我是谁吗?”
'No.' replied the boy.
小男孩回答道：“不知道。”
'I'm the head teacher's daughter', replied the girl.
小女孩说：“我就是你口中所说的傻班主任的女儿。”
'And do you know who I am?' asked the boy.
小男孩(面不改色心里惊恐地)问：“那你知道我是谁吗?”
'No,' she uttered.
小女孩说：“不知道。”
'Thank goodness!' said the boy with a sigh of relief.
小男孩大大的`松了口气，说道“真是谢天谢地啊。”
A tourist passing through South Dakota stopped at a blood bank to make a donation. Afterward，he was resting on a cot and saw another donor, who appeared to be a Native American.
有个旅行者在穿越南达科这州时，在一家肤血站献了血.献血后他坐在一张小床上休息。这时，他见到另一个人前来献血.那个人看起来好像是美国的本土人。这个旅行家于是就和他攀谈起来。“你是不是住在路那边的苏族印地安人保护区?”
The tourist struck up a conversation and asked,”Do you live on the Sioux reservation up the road?"
“没错儿。”那人回答.
"Yes，"the man replied.
“你是百分之百血统的苏族印地安人吗?”
"Are you a full-blooded Sioux?"
“噢，不能完全这么说?. "那人说:“我现在就缺少了一品脱的血.”
"Well，actually，no，"said the man. "Right now I'm a pint low. "
不必再看眼科医生了
It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.
我己经很多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最后，她替我挂了个号。
The day before I was to see the doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.
在我去见医生的前一天，我的情绪特别好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最漂亮的女人.
"That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment."
她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”
After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.
我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新认识的朋友们总为他们美丽的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒凉、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的老家来看我们，我问他们对旅途的感受。
What a boring drive，"my father replied."Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees."
我父亲抱怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”
taojia1988
Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid" A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid." 忠告“年轻者” 这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话， 千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。” 英语笑话（八）Which woman? One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall. On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield." My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
天秤座朱丽
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。但是它却一直被学界视为不登大雅之堂的小众。我精心收集了小学简单的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?"
"No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot."
A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?"
Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good."
Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?"
Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe."
Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?
Little Girl, "No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe."
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.""Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking.""Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth.""That is the truth," Johnny replied. "Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"
The Smith's were proud of their family tradition.
Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and the family included Senators and Wall Street Wizards.
The family decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. So the family hired a fine author to put together all their research notes, only one problem arose - how to handle great Uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.
The author said not to worry for he could handle the story tactfully, so the book appeared and it said...
"Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution."
"He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"
To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
朗姆薄荷儿
Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.” 上周，布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦，结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去，说道：“劳驾您一下！请您告诉我去医院的路，好吗？”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里，从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。”描述车祸现场: one car come,one car go,two car peng peng ,one car dieGeorge knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, “can Albert come out to play? ” “ No,” said the mother, “it's too cold. ” “ Well, then, ” said George, “ can his football come out to play ? ” 乔冶敲着他朋友家的门。当朋友的妈妈来应门时，他问：“阿尔伯特可以出来玩吗？ ” “ 不行， ” 那位妈妈说， “ 天气太冷了。 ” “ 噢，那么， ” 乔冶， “ 他的足球可以出来玩吗？Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him? Jack: Certainly. Tom: And why? Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me. 汤姆：威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他？ 杰克：当然应该了。 汤姆：为什么？ 杰克：否则他就该跟我借了。
