英语搞笑故事30字

英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ，欢迎阅读! 幽默的英语小故事篇一 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 幽默的英语小故事篇二 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 幽默的英语小故事篇三 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 看了“幽默的英语小故事 ”的人还看了： 1. 英语幽默小故事10篇 2. 幽默英语小故事16篇 3. 英语小故事3分钟幽默大全 4. 简单幽默英语小故事精选 5. 有趣搞笑的英语故事大全 6. 英语幽默小故事带翻译大全

1I Don‟t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don‟t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten?” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn‟t it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。“10块?”妈妈问。“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”3Where is the egg?Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里?老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师:“鸡蛋”在哪?学生:在蛋糕里,先生4Count Tomorrow M1I Don‟t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don‟t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”我不喜欢她鲍勃的去了所新学校。一天,他回到家,他妈妈问他:“你喜欢你的新老师吗?”“不,我不喜欢她,妈妈。因为她先说3加3等于6,然后她又说2加4等于6.”2Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Ten?” Mother asks.Yes, Mum. Four candies are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn‟t it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子:“吉姆,如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?”“10块。”吉姆说。“10块?”妈妈问。“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”3Where is the egg?Teacher: Can you make a sentence with the word "egg"?Student: Yes. I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher: Then where is the “egg"?Student: In the cake, sir.鸡蛋在哪里?老师:你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗?学生:可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师:“鸡蛋”在哪?学生:在蛋糕里,先生4Count Tomorrow MorningIt‟s a night. John is looking at the sky.Tom is John‟s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “I‟m counting stars.”Tom laughs and says, “It‟s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”明天早上数一个晚上, 约翰抬头看着天空。汤姆是约翰的弟弟。他问约翰:“你在干什么?”约翰说:“我在数星星。”汤姆笑着说:“现在天空太黑了。你为什么不等到明天早上再数呢?”5It Must Be CrowdedA teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millions of people can live there.”And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it‟s a crescent moon.”一定很拥挤一位老师告诉学生们:“月亮非常大,上面能住几百万人。”一个男孩笑着说:“当月亮变成月牙的时候,住在上面的人该多拥挤啊!

Remember not to smoke. A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asking for help,"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday." "Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days." said the doctor.记得不要吸烟。一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。OK？希望能帮到你啊！

为什么大象不玩电脑？

A: He’s afraid of the mouse!

他害怕老鼠！

鼠标和老鼠的英文皆为mouse。

mouse [maʊs] n. 鼠标；老鼠；胆小羞怯的人

2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。

"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."

"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days." The doctor  said.

一位很焦急的病人走到医生办公室寻求帮助。

“医生，我不知道该怎么办。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。”

“哦，不用担心。你一定要牢记未来几天不要吸烟就行了。”医生说。

3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.

He was brought to the hospital.

His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.

他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."

医生说:"我怕他已经死了."

听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."

妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.

He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"

And God says: "A penny".

Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"

And God says: "a second",

Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"

And God says "In a second".一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.

他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"

上帝回答:"一便士."

男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"

上帝说:"一秒钟."

最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"

上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？

约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？

约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”

“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”