新艺能门窗公司
搞笑英语微电影剧本《Whose treat》（英语5人搞笑微电影剧本）演员：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白—— 编剧： 摄影： 后期制作： 插曲：场景一《铃儿响叮当》场景二《雪绒花》场景三《泰坦尼克号主题曲》场景四《flash》场景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》道具：一份报纸（最好是英文的），三份试卷（白纸即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃（场景一：未定空地____5个人都到， 拍摄）旁白：One day ，some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner 一天，几个年轻人想叫外卖吃（直接录旁白，念完时候镜头落在四个人身上）A: let’s get takeout ,please?（旁白念完直接开始）B:why not? I like it .（开心，满足）C:It's up to you .(看着A）D:OK,but i have a good idea……(手托下巴，卖关子）A：go on ，please（请求语气）D：we always ”going Dutch “,.it‘s time to enjoy someone’s treat……我们总是AA制，这次找个人请客吧（扫一眼大家，继续卖关子）C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(请求）D：(笑）OK，OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！我们每人讲一个笑话，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就买单哦。（得意）A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手，异口同声）A：Let me tell a joke first .the title is” I'm Glad “.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先讲吧，题目是“我很高兴”。一个老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，她说（切到场景二，到一个教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑话表演出来，， 拍）旁白：Now, she said现在，她说赵雪：children ，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？王鹏：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使别人高兴过。赵雪：Well done. Who was that?做得好，是谁呢？王鹏：My granny.我奶奶。赵雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。王鹏：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’！是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’（切回场景一，BCD哈哈大笑A见状很开心，）A：oh, i got it !我做到了（很开心）B：yeah，yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指着A说完捂嘴笑）A: I……（要解释，被B拦下）B：OK，now ,It's my turn .”a gentle reminder”is the title.Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。(切换场景三，移至餐厅或有椅子的地方， 拍摄，）B：On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（录旁白形式）双："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？” B：Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：田："So, you want to switch seats?"“因此，你想交换座位吗？”（切回场景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）B：so, i got it,(对C）maybe you will like the man in the future (笑）it‘s your turnC: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑）,my title is “girl,oh little girl”题目是“让人无奈的孩子”When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['meɪhem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五岁的女儿和她的表妹在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。（切至场景四，某空地， 拍摄）： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” （转身要走），双：“come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "“来， ，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”（切回场景一，ABD哈哈笑）B：OK,we three all did it ,now,(对D）only you leftD:i’m very afraid now,maybe I’ll fail it . Let me try .it’s “A dollar per point”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。 （切场景五，至 教室， 拍摄）D(旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。（ 轩演教授， 坐中间， 演学生，考试时， 左顾右盼很着急，交卷子时， 左看看右看看掏出100元夹在卷子里并且写了一句话A dollar per point.）Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ，said，第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。走到那个 旁，田：”here are your test and $64 change“这是你的试卷还有64块钱的找零。（邱大囧）（切回场景一，ABC死憋住不笑，各种憋）D:well,my treat(很无奈）OK，you win……i’ll buy it right now(走开）（ABC终于放声大笑，落幕）原网址
lucherking18
好像是英文经典笑话 但是看了以后不太明白 什么意思啊 原文如下Knock KnockWho's there ?WenceslasWenceslas who ? Wenceslas train home ? Knock KnockWho's there ?SnowSnow who ? Snow business like show business ! Knock KnockWho's there ?WayneWayne who ? Wayne in a manger... ! Knock KnockWho's there ?DonutDonut who ? Donut open till Christmas ! Knock KnockWho's there ?OakhamOakham who ? Oakham all ye faithfull... ! Knock KnockWho's there ?AveryAvery who ? Avery merry Christmas ! Knock KnockWho's there ?HollyHolly who ? Holly-days are here again ! Knock KnockWho's there ?RudolphRudolph who ? Money is the Rudolph of all evil ! Knock KnockWho's there ?IglooIgloo who ? Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... ! Knock KnockWho's there ?MaryMary who ? Mary Christmas !
我叫鑫小鑫
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?" "Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."进步 一位学生对另一位说：“你的英语最近学的怎么样？” “很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”Young doctor: Well, Dad, now that I'm hanging out my shingle, can you give me some rules for success?Father: Always write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills very plainly.年轻的医生：哦，爸，现在我都挂牌开诊了，你能给我些成功法则吗？父亲：总是把药方写的难以辨认，而账单却清清楚楚Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?Gerald: I'd much rather have the half.Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.半个还是十分之五老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘？杰拉得：我宁可要半个。老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。
angel小芋头
I Have His Ear in My PocketIvan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan."Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother."I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."他的耳朵在我衣兜里伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?""I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered."You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?""She is the one who sells the candy."好孩子小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”“她是个卖糖果的。”DrunkOne day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk.""But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"醉酒一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”HospitalityThe hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.好客由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。英语小笑话上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do youknow what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
优质英语培训问答知识库
