比尼爱汤姆
Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。” Nest and Hair My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked. "I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child. "Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her . "Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. " Notes: (1) inform v.告诉 (2) nest n.窝；巢 (3) description n.描述 (4) encourage v.鼓励 (5) resemble v. 相似；类似 18.鸟窝与头发 我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。 “是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。 “我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。 “那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。 “哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。” I've Just Bitten My Tongue "Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother. "Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?" "Cause I've just bitten my tongue! " Notes: (1) poisonous adj.有毒的 (2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。 我刚咬破自己的舌头 “我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。 “是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？” “因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。” A Woman Who Fell It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?" 摔倒的女人 上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？” 英语笑话（一） Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys. 猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？ Q: How can you most irritate a farmer? A: By treading on his corn? 如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。 Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world? A: The snail. It carries its house on its back. 因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？ Q: What do people do in a clock factory? A: They make faces all day. 一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。 Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake. 怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。 英语笑话（二） He is really somebody -- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery. 他真是一个大人物 -- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？ -- 墓地守墓人。 英语笑话（三） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America." 它们是从美国直接带来的 一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。” 英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！ 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！ 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。” 英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then. 给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 英语笑话（六）The mean man's party. The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?" 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。 英语笑话 有声英语笑话,推荐
晶莹剔透0702
小时候，如果男生和女生走得近一点，会被笑「男生爱女生」之类的，这一点，在美国也是一样。六七岁的小男孩和小女孩们是互相敌视的。为了让这份敌视合理化，小男生们会说女生身上有虱子（cooties），跟女生走太近就会招虱子，这是美国小男生都知道的常识。到了十岁左右的时候，男生和女生会开始互相交朋友，但是男生又怕沾到虱子，这时该怎麼办呢？如果你真的很想和某个女生交朋友，你的同性朋友便会用手指在你手掌上画这样的图案，一面画一面念这句押韵的顺口溜：「Circle, circle, dot, dot, now you have your cooties shot.」（圆圈、圆圈、点、点，这是你的虱子预防针。）画完之後代表你已经接种了虱子预防针，可以放心地跟女生交往了！
Simena1943
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (also known as Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Greg Heffley's Journal or Diary of a Wimpy Kid: A Novel in Cartoons) is a realistic fiction novel written by American author Jeff Kinney. It is the first book in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, being released on April 1, 2007.However, a slightly different version of the book was originally published online at FunBrain.com in 2004. It is also known as a comic book. A movie of the same name was released on March 19, 2010. It stars Zachary Gordon as Greg Heffley and Robert Capron as Rowley Jefferson. The books focuses on Greg's life as he enters middle school and his life with his dysfunctional family.PlotGregory Heffley receives a diary from his mother, which he refers to as a journal and in it records his first year of middle school. The book begins with an introduction where Greg explains "the cheese touch". It is very similar to cooties. Greg writes that a student named Darren Walsh touched "the cheese" an old, moldy piece of cheese on the schoolyard with his finger thus becoming an outcast. The cheese touch is then passed around the school. They end up being chased by some teenagers they taunted all the way to Greg's house. They then get soaked by a trashcan full of water by Greg's dad who mistakes them for teenagers. Christmas does not get much better for Greg and he becomes jealous when he sees his younger brother Manny becomes wanted. Meanwhile Greg ends up with a weight set his dad got him along with socks and books. His uncle got Greg a picture for Christmas. Rowley gets the video game that Greg wanted.Greg also created the comic Zoo-Wee Mama which he gets bored of and abandons to allow Rowley to start drawing. Near the end of the school year "zoo wee mama " is published in the school's newspaper.the comic was made by Rowley.The two prepare to fight each other on the school grounds when they are happily interrupted by the teens who ambushed them on halloween night. They make Rowley eat the Cheese. Greg says "I would, but I'm allergic to dairy. He isn't. In the play, "The Wizard of Oz", he signs up to be a Tree. Mrs. Norton cuts arm holes in the costumes. Manny yells "Bubby" when the curtains open, but Greg quickly passes it on to Archie Kelly. Greg says "I think you dropped an apple Bubby" to Archie. The play ends when Greg, Rodney James and Archie Kelley throw apples at Patty Farrel. Mom throws away some flowers after the play.
唐唐sweet
在幼时，儿童由于“恋父（／母）情绪”受到阻碍或挫折，性欲得不到满足，于是寻找新的对象释放情绪，通常是同龄、同性别朋友。他们对自己是男性或女性有强烈的自觉，认为和异性在一起是可耻的事，甚至对异性双亲也有厌恶之感。于是我们恐怕都听说、并且相信过这样的传说：“男女接吻要怀孕。”美国小孩也有同样的烦恼，于是他们流行这样一个词，cooties。英文中cooties最早也是有实指的。一战时，因卫生条件不佳，战壕中虱蚤鼠虫横行，美军士兵不仅爱讲cooties（那时还没有“口水病”的引申含义），更将其戏称作“算数虫”（"arithmetic bugs"），泛指一切害虫，说因为“它们增‘加’我们的麻烦，‘减’少我们的快乐，消‘除’我们的注意力，因利‘乘’便、疯狂繁殖。”（"they added to our troubles, subtracted from our pleasures, divided our attention, and multiplied like hell."）得了“口水病”（cooties）怎么办呢？美国小孩有“预防针”。你只能从别的小孩那里获得“预防针”，从社会学角度讲，是社会形象得到认可的象征。相对的，如果你与某个小伙伴很要好，你可以“赐”他预防针：一边念“圈、圈，点、点，口水病，预防针”（circle, circle / dot, dot / now you've got the cootie shot），一边用食指在对方手臂上画圈画点即可。“口水病”（cooties）一词早已彻底融入了美国文化，在各种文学、音乐、漫画、动画、影视作品中均可见其踪影。例如《生活大爆炸》（The Big Bang Theory）第二季第10集《瓦塔太太难题》（The Vartabedian Conundrum）中，就有史蒂芬妮（Stephanie）给谢耳朵（Sheldon）打预防针的情节，这里正是念了上段口诀。
南宫亦忆
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
优质英语培训问答知识库
