不给知道我是谁
The Fairest of the FairAphrodite AthenaHera ParisAthena: I am so bored. There is nothing to do up here in Mount Olympus.Hera: Athena My dear, you just have to learn to keep busy.Athena: You call polishing thunderbolts keeping busy? No thanks.Hera: Well, I am perfectly happy doing this and occasionally helping outhumans. Why did you know that just the other day I was talking to this niceman named Orpheus whose wife just died-Athena: Oh, how sad.Hera: Yes it was but thanks to my help, he is on his way to the underworldto retrieve his wife as we speak.Athena: How did you manage that?Hera: Being the queen of the gods pays off. All I had to do is pull somedivine strings and (snap) Shazam! back from the dead.Athena: You owe Hades big time don抰 ya.Hera: Oh yeah.Athena :Well hopefully Aphrodite will bring something exciting in the mail.Hera: Look here she comes.Aphrodite: Ladies, afternoon mail is here. Let抯 see. Athena another billfrom your helmet polisher and Hera here is all of Zeus抯 mail. I know youlike to sift through it before giving it to him.Hera: It抯 our little secret right.Aphrodite: Right. Oh and before I forget. . .Athena: No! I refuse to sit here and listen to you read your thousands oflove letters.Aph. I wasn抰 going to do that. No, this is special. Ladies look atthis. . . (She pulls out a golden apple.)Athena: A golden apple, Oh those are so rare. Hardly anyone comes acrossthose.Hera: Not very many people or gods know where they grow.Athena: I do! (in a teacher voice) The golden apples grow at the western tipof the word. They are guarded by Atlas抯 three daughters AKA the Nymphs ofthe West. Many have said that these three creatures-Aph.: (cuts off Athena with attitude) 朣o not in the mood for a historylesson. (Athena gives her a dirty look) Anyway, look at the inscription(reads) 揊or the fairest of the fair."Athena: The fairest of the fair?Aph.: That抯 what the label says.Hera : Well, Aphrodite that obviously means that it was meant for you.Athena: Probably.Aph. (exaggerated modesty) Stop joking. Surely you don抰 suggest I ?whyit抯 too silly for words.Athena: Save it.Hera: Really, Aphrodite how could anyone possibly think that it was meantfor me. I mean I抦 older than you.Aph.: Just because your years older. Doesn抰 mean-Hera: I said older, not years older. You make me sound ancient.Athena: But Hera if you refuse the apple then surely you don抰 think that I??Aph. Oh, yes. The apple must be yours Athena. No one else in Olympus has afigure like yoursAthena: Yeah but look at Hera抯 velvety skin.Hera: What about Aphrodite抯 hair?Aph.: Honestly Hera consider Athena抯 eyes.Athena: (To Aphrodite) And your perfect nose. (To Hera) And your lovelymouth.Aph.: Athena抯 right about your mouth Hera.Athena: And there is Aphrodite抯 posture-Hera: And Athena抯 lovely ear lobes-(Aphrodite raises her hand in silence and gasps.)Aph. It is obvious that none of us can decide whom this apple belongs to.Honestly who was the halfwit who thought three women could decide who wasthe most beautiful among them.Hera (Sighs) I suggest that you just throw the silly thing down the hill.Athena: Or return to sender, Addressee Unknown.Aph. You both are right That抯 what I抣l do.Both Athena and Hera: But Aphrodite!Aph. Yes.Athena: Well it抯 just that someone must have taken a lot of time to carvethat inscription into the apple. It is solid gold.Hera: Yeah and don抰 you think that returning it would be rude after all thework put into it? I抣l tell you what, to make it easy on us all, I willjust take it.Athena: Hera I couldn抰 allow you to have to burden yourself so I guess Iwill have to . .Aphrodite: I couldn抰 possibly let you both to make that kind of sacrifice.I抦 the one who picked the silly thing up so I will just have to forcemyself to keep it.Athena: (Sighs) I think we抮e right back where we stared.Hera: That抯 it!Athena and Aph.: That抯 what?Hera: (recites) The one above must go below to find the one in three.Aph. What-Athena: She抯 quoting the Oracle of Delphi again.Hera: What we need is a man. A human man to decide.Athena: What a great idea Hera!Hera: Let the first man to walk beneath this spot be the one. I Heracommand it.Athena: Oh this is so exciting! I wonder who it will be.Aph. I hope he抯 handsome.Athena: I hope he抯 intelligent.Hera: I hope he appreciates older women.Athena: Behold he comes!Aph.: Good 憁orrow stranger!Paris Oh! Hi there. I seem to be lost do you know what this place is?Hera: What is your name earth person.Paris: My name I抦 Paris, Paris of Troy. Pleased to meet you I lost my senseof direction. This isn抰 the way to Troy is it?Aph.: Paris, we seem to be having some trouble making a decision and we werewondering if you could help us.Paris: I抦 always willing to help a pretty lady.Athena & Hera: Eh-hem?Paris: Excuse me, pretty ladies. (Flirtatious)Athena: Do you see this apple?Paris: Mmmmm Thanks! I haven抰 had lunch yet and I love apples.Aph. No, no, no. This isn抰 an eating apple. It憇 solid gold.Paris: Cool! I can get into the Olympics for the rest of my life with themoney from this-Hera: No, no, no the apple is not for you.Athena: What we want you to do is give this apple to whichever one you thinkis the fairest of the fair.Paris: The fairest of the fair? But you抮e all good looking.Hera: Yes but one of us has to be just a teeny-weeny bit prettierAph.: Paris can I have a private word with you. (Takes him aside)Hera: Oh no she didn抰!Athena: Oh yes she did. (Hera and Athena evesdrop)Aph.: Obviously, this whole thing is just some sort of a game to us. I meannone of us really takes it seriously. So here抯 what I抣l do to make yourdecision a lot easier. If you give me that apple I will get you a date withthe most beautiful woman in the world- Helen, queen of Sparta.Paris: Would you really? Do you have her phone number and everything?Aph.: Trust me Paris, I have connections.Hera: Paris can I have a word with you. In private. (Glares at Aph. Whomoves over with Athena)Paris: Of course.Hera: Now Paris if you give that apple to me I will make you rich.Paris: Richer than Midas?Athena: Paris! (Pushes Aph away towards Hera)Paris: You want to make things easy for me too I bet.Athena (sad attempt to flirt) Give the apple to me and I will make you agreat warriorParis: Would I be able to beat up Achilles. He is always showing off hismuscles.Athena: When you get through with him he will look like Greek ruin.Aphrodite: Paris we抮e waiting for your answer.Athena: Paris ?remember AthenaHera: Paris- remember HeraAph.: Paris remember Helen Queen Helen of Sparta 555-HOTTParis: The golden apple is yours Aphrodite!Aph.: Thanks Paris! (She exits)Paris: I hope you to ladies aren抰 to disappointed no hard feelings right?Athena: No. No hard feelings at all.Hera: Why should we care if you picked Aphrodite. Fair is fairAthena: As a matter of facts I think that we ought to give Paris a presenttoo Hera. Just to show that we have no hard feelingsHera: Good idea, Paris we are going to give you a wonderful present.Paris: you are what抯 it going to be?Athena: (looks knowingly at Hera) A Trojan Horse.
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