英文版的小品

The Rabbit And The Turtle（龟兔赛跑）Characters : Rabbit TurtleLevel : 5-6 years oldRabbit : I am a rabbit. I run quickly.Turtle : I am a turtle. I walk slowly. Narrator : (One day, the rabbit meets the turtle. When he see the turtle is slow, he laugh at the turtle.)Rabbit : Ah... Slow. Slow. You are slow.Turtle : Slow? Let’s have a race. I’ll win you.Rabbit : Win me? Ah… You’re slow.Turtle : Who gets to the tree, who is winner.Rabbit : O.K.Rabbit : Are you ready?Turtle : I’m ready.Rabbit : One, two, begin.Turtle : Let’s go.(After a while, the rabbit runs farther.) Rabbit : You’re so slow. Win me? Ah…I’m tired, I want to have a sleep. (The turtle is walking and walking, he can’t stop, he must catch up with the rabbit. Then he see the rabbit is sleeping.)Turtle : Have a good dream, Mrs. Rabbit. Bye-bye.(After a while, the rabbit wakes up.)Rabbit : Ah. Where is the turtle? Oh. Go. (The rabbit is late. The turtle has already reach to the tree.)Turtle : I win you! Rabbit.Rabbit : Oh…

老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑) 今天我正在看碟，老妈又捧了本书进来，说道：给我讲讲这几句话什么意思 老妈：这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思？ 我说：“我不知道” 老妈：送你上大学上了几年，你怎么什么都不知道！！ 我说：不是！就是“我不知道”吗！！ 老妈：还嘴硬！！！！$@％!#$^&％#$％@$％@#$％!^％^!^％$^#&..(一顿爆揍) 老妈：你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧，给我说说。 我说：是“我知道“ 老妈：知道就快说。 我说：就是“我知道“ 老妈：找茬呀你？刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不？ 我说：就是我知道呀！ 老妈：知道你还不说！！不懂不要装懂！&*$％^@$#!％$@^％#*$^^^##$％(又一顿爆揍) 老妈：你给我小心点，花那么多钱送你上大学，搞的现在什么都不会，会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱，再问你最后一个，你给我好好解释一下，说不出来我在收拾你，你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思？ 我晕倒，拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下，用头撞墙四十多下，双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下，用腿踢桌子角六十多下，血肉模糊之时，我问老妈：这下你满意吧 这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“ 我:“我很烦,别烦我“ 老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁) 老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“ 我说:“我没听清,再说一次“ 老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“ “我没听清,再说一次“ 结果被扁 老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“ 我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁) 老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’ 我说:“查字典“ “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁) 老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“ 我说:“你最好问别人“ “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“ “啊!god save me !“ “上帝救救我吧!” “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁) 我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“ 我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“ “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手 我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思” “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”【好笑不？】

<男孩和他的树>----中英文 a boy and his tree a long ago,there was a huge apple tree. a little boy love to come and play around it everyday.he climbed to the tree top,ate the apples,took a nap under the shadow…he loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him.time went by…the little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. one day,the boy came back to the tree and he looked. "come and play with me ,"the tree asked the boy . "i am no longer a kid, i don’t play around trees anymore."the boy replied, "i want toys.i need money to buy them." "sorry,but i don’t have money…but you can pick all my apples and sell them. so,you will have money."the boy was so excited .he grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily.the boy never came back after he picked the apples.the tree was sad. one day,the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "come and play with me ,"the tree said. "i don’t have time to play.i have to work for my family.we need a house for shelter.can you help me?" "sorry,but i don’t have a house .but you can chop off my branches to build your house."so the boy cut all the branches of the tree and left happily. the tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then. the tree was again lonely and sad. one hot summer day,the boy returned and the tree was delighted. "come and play with me !"the tree said. "i am sad and getting old.iwant to go sailing to relax myself.can you give a boat?" "use my truck to build your boat.you can sail faraway and be happy." so the boy cut the tree truck to make a boat .he went sailing and never showed up for a long time. finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "sorry,my boy.but i don’t have anything for you anymore.no more apples for for you…“the tree said. "i don’t have teeth to bite."the boy replied. "no more truck foe you to climb on." "i am too old for that now."the boy said. "i really can give you anything…the only thing left is my dying roots."the tree said with tears. "i don’t need much now,just a place to rest.i am tired after all these year" the boy replied. "good!old tree roots is the best place to lean on and rest. come,come sit down with me and rest."the boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears…… this is a story of everyone. the tree is our parent. when we were young, we loved to play with mom and dad…… when we grown up, we left them…only came to them when we need something or when we are in trouble. no matter what,parents will alway be there and give everything they could to make you happy. you may think the boy is cruel to the tree but that how all of us are treating our parent.tme is too slow for those who wait,too swift for those who fear,too long for those who grieve,too short for those who rejoice,but for those who love,time is eternity.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------从前，有一棵巨大的苹果树。 一个小男孩每天都喜欢在树下玩耍。他爬树，吃苹果，在树荫下小睡……他爱和树玩，树也爱和他玩。 时间过的很快，小男孩长大了，他不再每天都来树下玩耍了。 “来和我玩吧。”树说。 “我不再是孩子了，我再也不会在树下玩了。”男孩回答道，“我想要玩具，我需要钱去买玩具。” “对不起，我没有钱……但是，你可以把我的苹果摘下来，拿去卖钱，这样你就有钱了。” 男孩兴奋的把所有的苹果都摘下来，高兴的离开了。男孩摘了苹果后很久都没有回来。树很伤心。 一天，男孩回来了，树很激动。 “来和我玩吧。”树说。 “我没时间玩，我得工作，养家糊口。我们需要一栋房子，你能帮助我吗？” “对不起，我没有房子，但是你可以砍下我的树枝，拿去盖你的房子。”男孩把所有的树枝都砍下来，高兴的离开了。 看到男孩那么高兴，树非常欣慰。但是，男孩从此很久都没回来。树再一次孤独，伤心起来。 一个炎热的夏日，男孩终于回来了，树很欣慰。 “来和我玩吧！”树说。 “我过的不快乐，我也一天天变老了，我想去航海放松一下。你能给我一条船吗？” “用我的树干造你的船吧，你就能快乐地航行到遥远的地方了。”男孩把树干砍下来，做成了一条船。 他去航海了，很长时间都没露面。 最后，过了很多年，男孩终于回来了。 “对不起，孩子，我再也没有什么东西可以给你了……”树说。 “我已经没有牙咬苹果了。”男孩回答道。 “我也没有树干让你爬了。”树说。 “我已经老得爬不动了。”男孩说。 “我真的不能再给你任何东西了，除了我正在死去的树根。”树含着泪说。 “我现在不需要什么了，只想找个地方休息。过了这么些年，我累了。”男孩回答道。 “太好了！老树根正是休息是最好的倚靠，来吧，来坐在我身边，休息一下吧。” 男孩坐下了，树很高兴，含着泪微笑着…… 我推荐这个小品，希望你喜欢！

《硅谷》第一季第8集11分17后就是进入一段十分著名十分搞笑的“计算平均撸 管值”的情节，加上警察一共有6个角色，不过时长可能没到10分钟，主角团是五个人，如果不介意太污的话这段是个好选择。

《废柴联盟》了解一下？主角团是7个人，每集都有坐在一张桌子里聊天的情节，整个剧的基调就十分好笑，国外人气也很高。