茶舞清香
英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money Scene1（At Salesman’s home） N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming! S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money…… Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表) First, put the flour on the table. Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做) Now press, press…… Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情) Press, press…… Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it! Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe…… Now let me cut it into pieces!
后颈伤痕
搞笑英语话剧剧本《 荆珂刺秦王》 旁白(Aside )/介绍（Introduction）： Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways. Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman剑客 and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”. But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time? Okay, next show will tell you the truth.Action I太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? (画外音：It’s you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状) Thank u mirror! （面对观众） I’m Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world. But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. I am so scared. So what can I do? (向幕里大叫) Where is my minister?阿三(毕恭毕敬) : Honey, I am coming.太子丹：I’ve told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan”!阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng~~~（作杀状）太子：Oh yeah~~~. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?阿三：Yes.Action II（《十面埋伏》中刘德华&金成武决斗时的音乐）荆轲Are you Li mochou?李莫愁Yes.荆轲OK. I’m Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers’ world.李莫愁Are you challenging me?荆轲Off course! 耸耸肩表示同意李莫愁Come on!音乐起两人冲上前来“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。。。。”李莫愁倒地荆轲大笑李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren’t you hurt?荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么，不需要么，需要么？）李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.荆轲再次大笑太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you”?荆柯：Sure!太子丹：How are you?荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?太子丹晕倒荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸，上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.阿三：Hero，we need your help.荆柯：I am busy now! （本文来自天空剧本网）太子丹：You can get a lot of money.荆柯：I am very busy now!阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?荆柯：I am very very busy now!阿三(手指上场的美女，激动状): Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!阿三：What? What’s the TCM?荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn’t know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.荆柯（激动）：Slimming减食疗法 tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn’t reduce my weight.阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I’m very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?你不是真的想要吧？难道你真的想要吗……荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）Yeah!Action Ш （《大话西游》主题曲响起）荆珂挽着妻子，太子丹,阿三在后.阿三：Hero, we have already reached Yishui River.荆珂：Just stop here, please. Farewell, my friends太子丹：I will miss you, baby.（太子丹，阿三下。停顿。《泰坦尼克号》主题曲起，荆轲与妻子做Jack和rose在船头的经典造型，忽然荆轲看到一个美女——此时一个中国古典美女经过，向荆轲抛媚眼，并抛下定情手绢。荆轲高兴的盯着美女看，妻子发觉不对，扭过头来。）荆珂（急忙收敛）：Darling, I love you.妻子：I love you! You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!（《肖申克的救赎》） 荆珂(流泪) ：I love you more. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world going to pieces around us, I love you. (哪怕是世界末日我都会爱着你，选自《飘》)妻子：Well. Be a man, just do it! I will be right here waiting for you.荆珂（欲走还留，执子之手又曰）：Sweetheart! You must do me this honor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now, and never let go of that promise（泰坦尼克号沉船时，Jack对Rose的倾诉）.妻子:"I promise."荆轲:"Never let go. “ 妻子:"I promise. I will never let go, Jack. I'll never let go."（荆轲的发音和jack很像，所以加了一些《泰坦尼克号》的台词。）妻子努力挤出几滴眼泪，荆珂上船，渐渐远去妻子：It’s a good day to die. Never come back. Never…… Never……妻子(掏出手机拨号，阿三接手机)： Thank you very much. As soon as I get the life assurance $1000, 000, I will transfer half of it, $500,000 to your account.阿三：Okay okay!旁白：Then Jingke was sent to Qin and finally killed by Yingzheng. 结束！希望以上信息可以帮到您，欢迎您登陆我们的网站，查询全国各大城市最新、热门演出信息具体请点击： ^_^
dp73711528
初中英语搞笑话剧剧本
话剧主要叙述手段为演员在台上无伴奏的对白或独白，但可以使用少量音乐、歌唱等。以下是初中英语搞笑话剧剧本，欢迎阅读。
第一幕 开场白
旁白：Long long ago there lived a beautiful princess, and there is a big family. But the hostess died. Her son is handsome and goodness. Her husband married another wife. The stepmother is very cruel to the son. One day their King will hold a ball and choose a prince for his daughter.
B: Girls in the other side look at me, look at me, look at me …I am David, handsome and cool. I try my best to loose my weight for this ball. This is my photo three days ago.
C: I am rich and humor. Look at my snow-white teeth, because I use the famous toothpaste---Peer.
A: Oh, Can I go to the ball?
B and C: No!
B: Look at yourself. The clothes are so bad and dirty.
C: Yes, yes.
B: Your hair …（用手拨几下）
C: What a mass!
B: Your face
C: Black and dirty, you seemed like a frog.（B拿出青蛙的.照片）
B: How can you go to meet the beautiful princess?
Stepmother: OK, children, let’s go!
C: Mum, what about him?
Stepmother: You, just stay at home to do some housework.
A: But, Mum, I want to go there.
Stepmother: Oh, OK.
B and C: Mum, why do you take him? Don’t you think he will loose our face?
Finally, they go without A.
第二幕 仙女下凡
A: Why Why Why I can’t go to join that ball.
旁白： At this time a beautiful fairy appear.
Fairy: Ahh, my poor child! What things make you so sad?
A: The beautiful princess will held a ball, but my stepmother and my brothers don’t let me go there.
Fairy: My good boy, let me help you. (拿出一套礼服)
A:（喜出望外，准备去参加舞会。）
Fairy: Wait for a moment. Don’t forget your shoes.（拿出一双耐克鞋）
A: Thank you, my respectful fairy.
第三幕 一见钟情
旁白：A is wearing beautiful clothes going to the palace as quickly as possible, but his brother and stepmother have already arrived.
门卫：The next, the Trade’s first son.
B: Oh, beautiful princess. I have greatly admired you for a long time, and you are like a Pizza in my heart.
Princess: Please wait for a moment, what talent and skill you have?
B: I’ll sing a song for you. (Singing) Only you
Princess: Pass.
门卫：The next. The Trade’s second son.
C: La la I am a
Princess: Pass.
旁白：At that time A was appearing on the front door of the palace. All the people were shocked by his handsome and demeanor.
A: Beautiful princess. Can I sing a song for you?
Princess: Sure, please.
A: （扶着公主从宝座上走下，两人目光对视，走成一个圈，开始唱歌）。
旁白：All the people seem to disappear. Only A is left in the princess’s eyes. And so is the princess. Dang dang dang the clock strikes 12. A is waken from the happiness.
A: Princess, I must go now. I am very sorry.
Princess: Wait
旁白：In a hurry A dropped one of his shoes. But the princess was following him.
A: (A look at princess and that shoe he has to go into the forest.)
第四幕 丢失的鞋
旁白：The next morning, the guard brings the shoe to the princess.
侍卫：My princess, this is the shoe left by Yang Master yesterday.
Princess: That’s great! God save me! Go and declare: Whoever can wear this shoe will be my prince.
第五幕 结局
旁白：The guars declared this thing in the whole city and it caused a big sensation. The two prince of the Trade are more excited.
B: Oh, it’s so beautiful. I’m sure I can wear this shoe.
C: Do you think it is possible? Only I can wear that shoe.
Stepmother: Stop talking, my dear sons. Go to get ready for it quickly. The guards will come in no time.
旁白：A was sweeping floor more and more slowly. The guards came in.
侍卫：This is the shoe. Come and try it.
旁白：At this moment B caught it quickly, tried it and murmured.
B: why can’t I put it on?
Stepmother: My dear, let me help you.
旁白：The mother pulled B to the corner cutting his toe. Then B put the shoe very hardly.
B: My princess, let’s go.（一瘸一拐）
Princess: No, you are not my prince. Take off the shoe.
C: Let me try. Let me try. (murmuring)I cannot wear it either.
旁白：The mother pulled C to the corner again, and cut his heel.
C: My princess, let’s go.
Princess: No, you are not my prince, either. （一瘸一拐）
侍卫：Who else doesn’t try to put on the shoe here?
A: (In a low voice) Let me have a try.(A put the shoe without any difficulty. It just fit him. And A took off his dirty clothes again.)
Princess: Wow, you are my prince.
Princess and Prince got married. Then they live together and they are very happy.
烈焰雪花
The Gifts （礼物）－英语剧本Mon.：Tomorrow will be Christmas. But Della feels very sad. Because she has no money to buy a present for her husband , Jim . She has only one dollar and eighty-seven cents . They have only 20 dollars a week, it doesn’t leave much for saving.In fact, Della and Jim have two possessions in which they both take very great pride. One is Jim’s gold watch, which has been his father’s and his grandfather’s. The other is Della’s long beautiful hair.D: Life is so hard for me. Though I saved the money for many months , I still have only one dollar and eighty seven cents.D: I---- I---- I have to have my hair cut and sold it . In that way I can get some money and I can buy a beautiful present for Jim.(At the shop—“Madame Sofronie. We Buy Hair Goods of All Kinds”)D: Will you buy my hair?M: Yes, I buy all kinds of hair. Sit down, please. Take your hat off and let me have a look. Oh, very beautiful. Very good! Twenty dollars , OK?D: All right. But please give it to me quickly.M: Here you are. Twenty dollars.D: Thank you. Bye.M: Bye.Mon.：Della spent two hours in the streets. Then she stopped at a Gold Shop and bought a gold watch chain. Now ,Della is at home.D: Oh, what a beautiful gold watch chain. I think it must match Jim's watch. When he sees it he must be very happy .(Suddenly the door opened and in came Jim . )J: You-----?D: Jim. Don’t look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold it because I couldn’t have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. Jim, it will grow quickly. You don’t mind, do you ? I just had to do it. My hair grows very fast, you know. Say “Merry Christmas!” Jim, and let’s be happy.J: You’ve cut off your hair?D: I’ve cut it off and sold it. It’s sold. I tell you -sold and gone, too. It’s Christmas Eve , Jim. Be good to me, for it went for you.J: Well , Della. Don’t make any mistake about me. I don’t think there’s anything about a hair cut that could make me love you any less. I know, it went for me. Look at this package .D: What ?J: Look at it yourself. You 'll see.D:Ah! The combs. They were in the shop windows for many months!J:Yes, the beautiful combs, pure tortoiseshell, with jewelry rims--just the color to wear in your beautiful, hair.D: But , Jim. They are expensive combs. I know, my heart had longed for them without the least hope of possession. Now they are mine. Thank you Jim.J; Now, you will see why I was upset at first.D: Jim, you don’t know what a nice –what a beautiful , nice gift I’ve got for you. Can you guess?J: I'm sorry. I won't guess.D: Look. A gold watch chain. Isn’t it lovely ,Jim? I hunted all over the town to find it. You’ll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it .J: Della, Let’s put our Christmas gifts away and keep them a while. They’re too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money. And I bought the combs. Now, Let’s have our supper.翻译如下：礼 物旁白：明天是圣诞节，但是德拉觉得很难过，因为她无钱为她丈夫吉姆买一圣诞礼物，她只有1.87美元，他们一个月只有20美元的收入，那很难再从中省钱了。事实上，德拉和吉姆有两件让他们引以为豪的宝贝，一件是吉姆的金表，那是从他祖父和父亲那里留传下来的，还有一件是德拉那一头棕发，又长又美丽。德拉：生活对我来说很困难，虽然我很多个月以前就开始存钱了，我仍然只有1.87美元。德拉：我……我……我不得不剪了头发去卖掉，那样我就能得到一些钱去买礼物给吉姆了。（在店门口，写着“夫人：我们买各种各样的头发”）德拉：你买我的头发吗？夫人：是的，我们买各式的头发，把你的帽子脱下来，让我看一下你的头发。哦，很美的头发，很好的发质，20美元，行不行？德拉：好的，但是请你快点把钱给我。夫人：给你，20美元。德拉：谢谢你，再见。夫人：再见。旁白：德拉在街上逛了2个小时，然后她在一家金店止步，进去买了一条金表链。现在德拉正在家里。德拉：哦，多么漂亮的金链子，我想那一定跟吉姆的手表很配，当他看到它的时候，一定会很高兴的。（突然门打开了，吉姆走了进来）吉姆：你……？德拉：吉姆，不要那样看着我，我剪了我的头发并卖了，因为我无法度过一个我不送你圣诞节礼物的圣诞节，吉姆，它会长得很快的，你不会介意的，是不是？我必须这么做，我的头发长得很快的，这你是知道的，说：“圣诞快乐！”，吉姆，让我们高兴起来。吉姆：你剪了你的头发？德拉：我剪了头发并卖了，它被卖掉了，我跟你说它被卖掉了，没有了！现在是圣诞节前夜，对我好一点，吉姆，那都是为了你。吉姆：哦，德拉，别误会我，我想我不会因为你剪了头发而对你的爱就减少了，我知道，那是为了我，看看这个包裹。德拉：什么？吉姆：你自己看吧！你会明白的。德拉：啊，是梳子！它们就是几个月前陈列在橱窗里的那套。吉姆：是的，那套漂亮的梳子，镶珠宝的，那颜色正好配你的发色。德拉：但是，吉姆，那些都是很贵的，我知道，我一直渴望但却没有丝毫的奢望拥有它。现在，它们是我的了，谢谢你，吉姆。吉姆：现在，你知道我为什么一开始就那么悲伤了吧。德拉：吉姆，我给你买了一件又美丽又好的礼物，你能猜出来吗？吉姆：对不起，我不想猜。德拉：看，一条金表链，吉姆，它是不是很可爱？我找遍了整个城才找的，你从现在起可得一天要看一百次时间了。把你的表给我，我想看一下表链装在表上的样子。吉姆：德拉，让我们把圣诞礼物收起来珍藏一段时间，它们太好了，但我们现在用不着，我把表卖了。得到了钱才买了这梳子。现在让我们吃晚饭吧！祝你好运！希望对你有帮助！
八点了解
小剧本内容： 女儿：S 父亲：F 母亲：M 场景1： S:Morning mom. M: moruing dear. M:Why don't you sit down and eat your breakfast? S:ok. M:Did you finish your homework dear? S:yes M:Did you brush your teeth? S:mom,I haven't finished eating breakfast yet.I'll brush my teeth when I'm down. M:Sandy,What's wrong with you arm? S:nothing... M:Come here. Let me see. Sandy,you have tattoos? S:No! this is a picture I was draw. Look! Clean! not really tattoos. M:Sandy, I'm sure it's not good for you.I've seen other teenagers walking around town with tattoos and prercings all over their bodies.they are not good students.I can't believe you have same with them. S:mom,it's so cool in our school.My peers say the tattoos is very beautiful,and I think it's art. M:Tattoos is art?my god... Now, I don't have time to talk with you.I'm late,I've got to go.Tonight we must have family meeting to discuss your mind,it's the biggest problem with you. S:What's wrong with my mind?You don't understand me! (S:照镜子，听音乐，打电话） 场景2： F:Sandy,Why don't you go to school? S:I'm free this morning. F:You always take a phone with your friend.It's waste too much time for youself,and you never talk about study, your topic usually about makeup,music,chothing and "What's cool". S:(对电话里说）"call me later" Dad,I'm fifteen.I have my mind.I'm old enough to make a decision with my time and what should I do.I'm not a baby! F:I'm not agree with you.we should discuss about you. S:Oh...again... Why do you baffle me? F:What? S:Nothing... (S: Hello,yes!I'm free...ok,see you later.) 场景3： M:I think arm with tattoos is terriable.Is so danger that you can't change your mind. F:But the tattoos not ture,(S:点头）too much phone is the biggest problem. M:Dear,she is not alone,she want communicate with each other is good. F:Phone waste too much time! S:Now, the biggest problem is quarrel,not me.... 翻译：场景1 ： 问：早上妈妈。 男：今天上午亲爱的。 男：你为什么不坐下来吃饭的早餐？ 问：确定。 男：你完成你的功课亲爱的？ 问：是 男：你刷牙？ 问：妈妈，我还没有吃完早餐yet.I ，我刷我的牙齿当我下来。 男：沙地，有什么不好你胳膊？ 问：什么... 男：来这里。让我看看。沙地，您有纹身？ S模式：不！这是一个图片我是抽奖。看！清洁的！没有真正纹身。 男：沙地，我相信这不是好you.I都有看到其他青少年走动镇纹身和prercings 所有他们的bodies.they不好students.I不能相信你有与他们相同。 问：妈妈，这么酷的school.My同行说，纹身是非常漂亮，我认为这是艺术。 男：纹身是艺术？我的上帝...现在，我没有时间跟you.I '米晚了，我得go.Tonight我们必须有 家庭会议，以讨论您的想法，这是最大的问题与您联系。 问：有什么不好我心中？你不理解我吧！ （ S模式：照镜子，听音乐，打电话） 场景2 ： 传真：沙地，你为什么不去上学？ 问：我今天上午免费。 传真：你总是需要一个电话与您friend.It的浪费太多时间为自己，你从来没有谈论研究， 您的主题通常化妆，音乐， chothing和“什么是酷” 。 问： （对电话里说） “后给我打电话”爸爸，我fifteen.I我mind.I '米，能够作出决定的时间和 我应该怎么do.I '米不是一个婴儿！ 传真：我不同意you.we应该讨论你。 问：噢... ...再次你为什么要困惑我吗？ 传真：什么？ 问：什么... （ S模式：您好，是的！我自由...没关系，回头见。 ） 场景3 ： 男：我觉得手臂刺青是terriable.Is如此危险，你不能改变您的想法。 传真：但是纹身不自然， （ S模式：点头）太多手机是最大的问题。 男：亲爱的，她并不孤单，她要互相沟通是好的。 传真：电话浪费太多时间！ 问：现在，最大的问题是争吵，而不是我....
