程Celeste
英语四人话剧!幽默搞笑的话剧剧本《赖皮孙子糊涂爷爷》
演员: P: Pirate-Grandson. M: Mother.
F: Father. K: King -Grandpa.
旁白: There are 4 members in a family, Pirate, a 7-year-old naughty boy. His mummy is a beautiful white-collar worker. His dad, Andy Lau is a famous singer, and his dear grandpa, King is a kindly old man. Pirate loves his grandpa most, because King is very spoiling him. He hates his parents. Frankly speaking, he is afraid of them, Because they are very strict with him. .
正剧：(P,K出场)
P: Old King, Open the TV, I want to see Tom and Jerry. I love that mouse. Quick! No time! I can’t wait another second.
K: Oh dear! I nearly forget it. Don’t worry, I open it right now. (作开电视状)
P: Ha Ha! It’s really funny! Tom is so good! (作高兴状)搞笑小品
Oh no! “The End!” Where is Tom? I hate the end! (摔电视机，liuxue86.com作极度气愤状) Old King!? (对K吼)
K：Oh, what a pity dog! (作左顾右盼状) Your parents are not here ,and we can change another one ,our brave Pirate, just tell me. I’m sure your demand will be satisfied. (作充满自信状)
P：Really! OK! Now, let’s watch Caribbean Pirates!
K: Humm, No, it’s unfit for you…… (作犹豫状)
P: I just like this film, Old King, you tell lies. You don’t keep your promise.(作气愤欲泣状)
K; Oh yes, I play it for you. (作为难状) But please be quite, I’m afraid your parents wound not like us doing these.
P: Don’t tell so much! I have been an adult man of 7 years old. I promise it to you. (作自豪自信状)
K：OK. (作舒心，安慰状)
P: Fight him, kill him. Throw these bad guys into the sea…… (高声喊)
K: Xu …….. (作禁声状). Remember your promise, young adult man.
P: Oh? What promise? I have forgotten it. (作天经地义状)
K: Oh?! You are right(作理解状，因为Pirate一贯如此，出尔反尔)
P: Old King. I give you an honorable mission. (作自豪状) Be my horse, and I will ride on your back , let’s help these people in dangerous situation, just like a brave knight.(作勇敢状)
K: What! Ride on my back! Be your horse!!(作惊异状)
P: Yes, your hearing is very good, any question? (作若无其事状)
K: No, No, sound a good idea! Very good! You are a brave Pirate. Now come on my back. (作无奈状)
P: (作高兴状，作跃上马背状) Hei! Let’s go! Kill all those bad men. Quick! Run quick! ....... (意气风发状)
(M,F携手进场):搞笑小品剧本
P: Oh, my god! Mummy, Daddy! (A,D作慌忙状，挡在电视机前)
M: Dad, what are you doing!? Naughty Pirate, isn’t your trick!? (作气愤状)
P:(作阳痿状) Mummy, it’s not my fault. Old king let me massage his back. Hei Hei (作心虚状，以掩饰内心的恐惧)
M: I don’t believe it. (作严肃状) Dad, isn’t really that? (询问K)
K: Yes, of course, I can’t image a child only 5 year old, can massage so good. Oh……. (释然状，因为圆了我的谎)
M: Really. I don’t believe the litter pirate can massage, who taught him. (作怀疑状) Dear, isn’t you ?
F: No, I haven’t, but I decide to enjoy his massage another day, Do you think so, dear?
M: Yes, really a good suggestion.
(P，D作惊恐状。A：发抖，D：挥汗)
(P挡着电视怕被M、F发现，K也为P作掩饰)
P: Mummy, Do you feel a little cold?
K: Yes, I can feel it. (边挥汗边说冷)
M: No, it’s summer. Really hot, do you catch cold?
P: No, No, just my feeling. (更加发抖，一不小心被B看到了电视)
M: Pirate, what’s behind you? (疑问状)
P: Oh, nothing, nothing! (作惊恐状)
M: Move away .little Pirate! (作气愤状)
P: Oh no! The storm will come. (捂脸作害怕状)
M: Caribbean Pirate! What’s a bad film! Little Pirate!? (气愤状)
P: Mummy, I surrender. (作投降状)
M: Daddy ,this film is unfit for him , it is full of killing，force and negative passion, and it will let him become bad !
K: I know that, but I meat to let him watch Tom and Jerry and he like it very much. Yes? Pirate? (想转移话题与Pirate站在同一战线)
P: Yes, a very clever mouse and a stupid cat. (作博学状)
M: Dad, don’t let him watch so much TV, it wastes a lot of time, and it is bad for his eyesight. He may become short-sighted. (诚恳状)
小品：“不差钱”
(2009年中央电视台春节联欢晚会节目)
Got the Money Anyway(舞台上是一个餐厅的背景，写着：“苏格兰情调”。本山大叔穿着中山装，身上背着一串蒜头，手上拿着野鸡，拉着毛毛上场。)
(This short play is set in a restaurant named "Scottish Taste / Feel." Uncle Zhao, in his customary Chinese tunic suit, enters, carrying a string of garlic on his back and a pheasant in hand, with his granddaughter Yadar in tow.)
Uncle Zhao Here we are. 赵本山：到了。
Yadar Here we are. 毛毛： 到了。
Uncle Zhao It's the most expensive restrant in Tieling:苏格兰 调情~~~
赵本山：这就是铁岭最贵的一家饭店。这不，苏格兰调情(tiáo qíng)。 Yadar You got it wrong –苏格兰情调!!
毛毛： 爷爷，你念反了，苏格兰情调(qíng diào)。
Uncle Zhao 情调(qíng diào) All right, . We're gonna have our meal here anyway. 赵本山：啊，情调?就搁这儿吃。
Yadar But it's very expensive. 毛毛： 爷爷，这家老贵的啦。 Uncle Zhao So what? We've got the money, 30,000 yuan. Where's the bag? 赵本山：贵?咱带钱了，带三万多块，那包呢?
Yadar What bag? 毛毛： 我没拿包啊。
Uncle Zhao The yellow one with the money in it.
赵本山：装钱那包，黄包。
Yadar Oh no, I left it on the brick bed. 毛毛： 完了，让我落炕上了。
Uncle Zhao oh,what can I do? I do all this just for you ,how could you forget it! Any money left on you?
赵本山：我说，你这孩子还能办点事吗?!这给你办事，落炕上了还。兜里还有钱吗?
Yadar Let me see... (Fumbling) only 70-plus yuan.
毛毛： 兜里，多少钱哪才?才70多块钱。
Uncle Zhao Here's 400 more.
赵本山：我还有400。行，够了。
Yadar Still not enough. 毛毛： 这也不能够啊。
Uncle Zhao It’s ok. Waiter!
赵本山：哎呀，够不够就这样了。服务员!
橘子的新生命
较简单的英语话剧剧本The Bus A Story about Love and Stinky Feet 5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。 Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-rui Boy B,Old woman, Scene One (Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.) Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand. (The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.) Female student A: We should find a seat for her. Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her. (The two boys continue to sleep.) Female student C: We should find a seat for her. Female students A & B: Yes. (Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.) Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady? (Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.) Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady? Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep) Female student C: What should we do? Female student B: Let's ask the other boy. Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah! All: (startled)Ah! Female student B: What happened? Female student C: Why did you scream? Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible. Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady? (Boy B falls asleep.) Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady? Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while? Female student A: Well, we've tried. Female student B: The young man is really brash. Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man) Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy. (The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.) Boy A: Oh! Are you OK? Old woman: Oh! Oh! My waist! Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat) Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience. Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners. Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal. Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired. (At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.) Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless. Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened. (The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.) Scene Two (The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.) Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and sees Boy A standing behind her) It's you, right? Boy A: What? Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didn't you? Boy A: Wait. I didn't do anything. Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right? Boy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it you? Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping. (The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.) Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you? You pig! Boy A: I didn't mean it. Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless. Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry! Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry. (Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.) Boy A: It's not my day today. Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman. Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed. Boy B: Older people know more than us. Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day. (Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.) Female student C: (surprised) You..... (The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.) Old woman: You have nice hips. Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment. Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past. Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely. Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off. Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people. (Female students get off the bus.) Boy B: Who are those strange people? They're real strange. (helps the old woman up) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy. Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands. Boy B: (startled) What? Boy A: This old woman is also very strange. Boy B: Let's go! Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time. (Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.) Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too. Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off)
jinshengya0757
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